Having to go to the bathroom when a restroom isn’t easily accessible is arguably one of the worst feelings in the world, but being in a basketball game where you accidentally have some diarrhea...that’s a whole different level.
Paul Pierce had a ... creative... strategy to deal with that during the 2008 NBA Finals. During that series, every fan remembers the infamous moment in which Pierce was wheelchaired off the floor only to — moments later — get seen skipping out on to the court looking ready as ever. This moment caused a lot of believe to be confused about what really happened. Yesterday, Paul Pierce answered the question for us.
That’s right: Before Game 3 of the NBA Finals, Paul Pierce announced to the world what happened when he was carried off the court. He had to go to the bathroom. Now, understandably so, that’s pretty embarrassing to have possibly had diarrhea out on the court. I don’t know what I’d do in that situation. I’d possibly take the same route as him and fake an injury. There’s a possibility he was just joking around, but I had to investigate and see how he was acting throughout the game, and there are some signs that back up his confession:
Two symptoms and signs of having diarrhea are abdominal pain and cramping, as well as general body weakness and tiredness. During my very serious and professional investigation that involves no sarcasm whatsoever, I noticed that he had his hands to the side during pre-game warm ups. That wasn’t the only time though, throughout the game that was happening a lot.
Now I know, a lot of players do that, so I had to look even further. There were brief moments I show in the video where he kind of showed more symptoms. In my very serious and professional opinion, he definitely had diarrhea.
All in all, the Lakers may not have won that series, but at least we learned that Kobe Bryant made Paul Pierce s--- himself. In a season where the Lakers couldn’t make the playoffs, that’s as close as we’re going to get to a signature postseason moment.