Few moments this season have brought such unbridled joy as Danny Green dunking on the entire state of Georgia as the Los Angeles Lakers beat the Atlanta Hawks. So of course the NBA league office had to step in and try to ruin it.
According to Green, he apparently was subject to one of the league’s [cough] “random” [cough] drug tests the day after that incredible play:
Green then gave a shoutout to his favorite Lakers blogger/podcast host named Anthony for their incredible wit.
Remember, after an image surfaced of Alex Caruso in the weight room that may or may not have been slightly altered, the league asked that he take a test, too?
Mr. Silver is always watching. pic.twitter.com/9JVL7R2PxV— Silver Screen & Roll (@LakersSBN) September 3, 2019
So, if you placed a bet on Green and Caruso as the first two Lakers randomly drug tested even while Dwight Howard enjoys an incredible bounce-back season, collect your extremely dark and cynical winnings.
One thing the NBA seems to have overlooked was the strength of Allen Crabbe’s shoulder, which Green credited after the game:
Crabbe might need to be drug tested just for the audacity that one needs in order to jump with Danny “Greensanity” Green, the greatest dunker to ever come out of the University of North Carolina.
All jokes aside (and there are still plenty to be made), it does feel like the league should find some other name for these kinds of drug tests, as they appear to not be all that random. Perhaps the verbiage is being used for lack of a better term, but if this is indeed something players can jokingly predict, the secret might be out.
Okay, enough taking this thing at all seriously. Green’s drunk was incredible and the fact that we got to once again joke about it almost 24 hours later just adds to the fun.
Let this be a warning to all other players who aren’t known for dunking, though. You make a play like that out of nowhere, you can probably expect an email from the league shortly thereafter. Looking at you, Kyle Korver.