A guide to help Lakers fans navigate how the media is going to troll you this summer

We’re heading straight for the quietest month of the NBA calendar, but that doesn’t mean the desire for content goes away. So, you’re left with hypothetical analysis based on opinions of teams yet to have played a single minute together. So, here at Silver Screen & Roll, where we care about the fans, we’re going to try to help you get through the barren desert that is August.

First and foremost, you have to realize that we aren’t calling anyone liars or intellectually dishonest (mostly). But so long as the content generated almost specifically to piss off Lakers fans drives traffic, you may as well brace yourself for it.

Anywho, let’s start by what to look for and how to respond when you see it.

This time of year, you’ll start to notice a competition to see who can be the lowest on the Lakers. It’ll start with, “hey, maybe they won’t have homecourt advantage in the first round.” Then, “you know what, the five or six seed seems like the high-point of their projection.” Followed by, “man, they might really have to fight just to get in” and “wow crazy we’re going to have a postseason without LeBron” or “HOLY S**T STOP THE PRESSES CAN LEBRON EVEN GET THIS DUMPSTER FIRE TO .500?!?!”

Oh, August, you wacky bastard.

Based on my reading of the situation heading into the process leading to these kinds of pieces goes as follows:

1. Prognosticate a range of events for the team in question (in this exercise, the Lakers).
2. Target the lower half of that range and figure out what would have to happen to land the projection in that area.
3. Prioritize weaknesses of a team that would also land that projection lower.
4. Write out the social media post with special highlighting of how crappy this (now flawed) projection thinks the Lakers are going to be.
5. Profit.

We’ve already seen this in play with the Lakers team as a whole and anyone who was a fan of the Lakers while Kobe played should know that LeBron is about to get the same treatment. Yeah that’s right. Prepare yourself for those NBA Player Rankings in which James will fall out of the top 10 at a faster pace now that he’s a Laker.

That’ll be a fun day on Twitter. (Narrator: It will not be a fun day on Twitter)

So as we go forward, be aware that this is the mindset that drives 90 percent of the content that does the following and more:

1. Underrates the Lakers’ summer and puts that part in the social media post so you click to see how they could possibly think that or angry share the post asking that same question.
2. Writes that they could miss the playoffs.
3. Concern trolls them for “wasting” a year of LeBron’s prime when he has said he likes what they’re doing and likes the young guys.

So here we are, heading into the most exciting season in damn near a decade. Don’t let the trolls get you down. Just know they’re doing it out of hatred for what the Lakers did to their childhoods, or a simple interest in driving your anger onto their website.

If you’re struggling with that trollish content, just think back to the moments in which the Lakers legitimately affected these people’s mood with some kind of playoff win over the team they rooted for in their younger years. Bask in their tears, Laker fans. We’re back and the existence of these pieces are just further proof.