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LaVar Ball has been known for saying absurd things in his media appearances since long before the Los Angeles Lakers drafted his son Lonzo Ball, but when asked if he would be open to coaching the team, he made perhaps his most ridiculous statement yet.
“Would I coach the Lakers?” LaVar said on FS1’s Undisputed. “The only way I’d coach the Lakers is if all three of my sons were there. We’d turn the NBA upside down because I’d do something that has never been done before: I’d press the whole game.”
He also said he would only coach the team for one year, were the Lakers to for some reason acquiesce to his demands in order to get him to coach.
“I’d show how good I am and then I’m out,” LaVar said, adding that he would need to focus on Big Baller Brand.
The Lakers are unlikely to unite the three Ball brothers, especially considering LiAngelo (who sat in on the appearance, talked like four times and otherwise was just sitting there watching his dad) is unlikely to be drafted.
However, LaVar reiterated something he’s said before: If the Lakers don’t bring in all three of his sons, he’ll find a team who will.
LaVar just reiterated that if the Lakers "don't do the right thing" and unite his three sons, he'll take them elsewhere.
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
I don’t need to get into all the reasons that threat is likely empty, or why the Lakers aren’t going to concern themselves with it. Lonzo is an adult, and it seems unlikely he’d just go play somewhere else because his father told him to, and most of this stuff seems to just be LaVar having fun with all of us and free marketing for Big Baller Brand, so who knows how seriously to take any of these threats anyway.
On that note, here are some of the more ridiculous things LaVar went on TV and said. It didn’t seem like worth fully transcribing all of them, but if you’re into that kind of stuff, below is a roundup of the most notable stuff from his FS1 appearance, including LaVar guaranteeing LeBron will sign with the Lakers, insulting Kevin Durant and more, because I’m not writing more than one article on this, and frankly he’s said some of it before:
"I don't think it will happen, I know it's going to happen... For him to be considered better than Jordan, I think his narrative has to be 'everywhere he's gone he wins'" - LaVar on LeBron coming to LA
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
Sorry, FS1 NBA Insider LaVar Ball, who also just said he doesn't think that LeBron and KD can play together "because the egos are too big." https://t.co/3M96JJ52DI
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
LaVar just said Kevin Durant "isn't good enough" to sign with Big Baller Brand
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
LiAngelo just spoke for the first time. We are like five minutes into the appearance.
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
"Look what he did with the Lakers. Kyle Kuzma went to the Utah, you never heard of him. Now Rookie of the Year" - LaVar on Lonzo making people better.
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
Note: Kuzma will not win rookie of the year
LaVar once again complains about the Lakers pulling Lonzo in and out of games
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
LaVar basically just said that him claiming Luke lost the team led the Lakers to rally around Luke.
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
LaVar is now once again complaining about the Lakers not lifting "pig iron" and using resistance bands.
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
For more context on that last one, read here.
"LaVar he can't run no hills during the season and play 82 games!" -Shannon Sharpe
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
"Why not? ... You go to Africa and you run over rivers and all kind of stuff... condition your legs and you can run forever." - LaVar
Lmao LaVar Ball just said he wants to make enough money from Big Baller Brand to buy his own NBA team and unite his three sons, and said BBB stands for "Billions."
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
"I think I got a good chance of getting drafted"- LiAngelo Ball
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
LaVar just reiterated that the Lakers should draft LiAngelo. I'd transcribe his argument, but I don't care enough.
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
LaVar Ball said he would drive an hour to McDonalds while in Lithuania. This is the most interesting thing to come out of this interview.
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
"You can send my boys to Timbuktu and they're going to get better"- LaVar, who may get what he wishes for.
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
"Gelo has the opportunity to be the best (of my children) because he's the strongest"- LaVar
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
This was one of my favorite exchanges from the whole show, and maybe any show ever:
"What about what's best for them? What if they don't want to all play together?" -Shannon Sharpe
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
"Are you drunk?" - LaVar Ball.
LaVar says Lonzo Ball never asked him to quiet down in the media last year
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
Somehow, Skip Bayless may have made the most insane statement of the whole carnival today though:
Skip just said Lonzo came in with more expecations than LeBron
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
Scratch that, maybe not:
LaVar now said if the Lakers draft LiAngelo they'll be in the playoffs.
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
And one more quote for the road:
LaVar just said LeBron "shouldn't let the media fool him into messing with me." He says LeBron was given quotes from him out of context.
— TV's Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) June 12, 2018
He actually has a point on that last one, but we’ll see if LeBron wants to join up for ... whatever this is, this summer.
You can follow Harrison on Twitter at @hmfaigen.