LAS VEGAS- Lonzo Ball is officially a member of the Los Angeles Lakers, but not even his father could speak a good debut game into existence for him. Ball showed off his transcendent court vision in the Lakers’ Las Vegas Summer League opening loss to the LA Clippers, but that was just about the only positive he was able to show in his first game as a Laker.
Ball shot horrifically against the Clippers, missing 13 of his fifteen shots and all but one his 11 3-point attempts. It was hardly the debut he envisioned for himself, and when the third quarter rolled around, it became clear the Lakers had made a colossal mistake: They drafted the wrong Ball brother.
Lonzo’s brother LaMelo Ball, a 15-year-old guard who scored 92 points in a high school game last year, took the floor during a the intermission to partake a shooting contest with Clippers Superfan “Clipper Darrell.”
Not only did LaMelo wipe the floor with the red-and-blue suited Darrell, but he gave Lakers fans a tantalizing tease of what a talented Ball brother looks like, ruthlessly upstaging his older brother on Lonzo’s first day at his new job in a clear display of the Mamba Mentality needed from a Lakers superstar:
LaMelo Ball has two more made three's than his brother Lonzo tonight. pic.twitter.com/W2ygCD2Owx— Silver Screen & Roll (@LakersSBN) July 8, 2017
Did you count those? That’s right, that particular Ball boy just shot 75 percent from behind the arc, compared to Lonzo’s 9.1 percent shooting in his debut, and it couldn’t be more clear that the Lakers made a mistake.
Big Baller Brand? More like Big Baller Bust. The real Big Baller is the smallest Ball brother.
The Lakers and LaVar Ball misread the Big Baller Brand prophecy. Yes, a Ball boy was supposed to return the Lakers to championship glory, but the Lakers picked the wrong one. It’s clearly LaMelo who is supposed to drive the Lakers’ next championship parade, and the Lakers need to forget about 2018 cap space or any other such nonsense.
If the Lakers really want to be great, the vision is clear: They need to clear the decks and start tanking for the 2020 NBA Draft.
The preceding column was (hopefully obvious) satire. Harrison Faigen is co-host of the Locked on Lakers podcast (subscribe here), and you can follow him on Twitter at @hmfaigen.