Stop the presses. Stop them right now. This is of the utmost importance and absolutely must be written about. Ready? Are you sure? This is some life-changing stuff.
Brandon Ingram has not worked out a time to work out with Kobe Bryant. I know, I know. It’s time to trade him. One does not make the Black Mamba wait and live to tell the tale, let alone remain a Los Angeles Laker.
A true Laker would’ve reached out as soon as his season ended. Post-game interview as he walks off the court? Psh. Disrespectful. Exit interview, schmexit interview. When Kobe bleeping Bryant makes himself available, you PICK UP THE PHONE, AND CALL HIM UNTIL HE EITHER PICKS UP OR BLOCKS YOUR PHONE NUMBER.
If he blocks your phone number, he’s probably administering a test to gauge your resolution, so YOU PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE AND KEEP ON CALLING.
“I don’t know, honestly. I’m always around,” Bryant said. “Guys call me all the time, even guys that are still playing in the playoffs. They reach out to me and ask for some advice on certain things or ask me to take a look at some things here and there. I’m always around. So if he wants to come (down) and work out, he has my cell obviously. I’m sure he’ll reach out at some point and come (down) to O.C. and we’ll get a workout in. It’s no problem.”
And what exactly might he advise?
“It’s just consistency. That’s all it is, consistency. You don’t build an entire package of the game on one summer. You focus on one or two things throughout the summer,” Bryant said.
“You master those things. Then the following summer, you focus on another one or two things. Then the following summer, it’s another one or two things. Five years from now, you have a game that has no weaknesses in it. But it’s not done in one summer. It’s about having a five-year plan, a 10-year plan and understanding how to get there.”
In all seriousness, this is nothing worth freaking out about. Ingram and the rest of the Lakers were given some time to recharge their batteries before returning to get back to making the improvements Magic Johnson and Rob Pelinka requested of them.
In the coming weeks, we’ll hear about some workout in which Kobe takes Ingram to Pamplona for the Running of the Bulls, only he’ll have to stand there to work on taking charges.
We already heard about Kobe and Pelinka’s shark dive, but that was for wusses. Kobe will next have Ingram dive without the aid of a cage in severely chummed waters in order to work on guarding Allen Iverson, or something like that.
Whatever it might be, I can’t wait to hear about it from a snake puppet’s child-like voice.
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