When a season features as few wins as the Los Angeles Lakers’ 2016-’17 campaign did, keeping things light can be kind of a challenge. Thank goodness Luke Walton is the coach.
Monday marked the final official practice of the Lakers’ season, as they’ll play their last two games back-to-back. At this point, they probably weren’t going to unlock the key to success in the NBA, so why not have some fun?
If you’re going to have some fun, what better way than to fire handballs at each other?
We’re going to have some fun here, too. Let’s try to find out how on the Lakers is best suited for the game that will continue to haunt fat kids like myself’s nightmares until the day I die.
I’ll start from worst potential dodgeballer, then make my way to best.
Ivica Zubac, Timofey Mozgov.
Both guys stand at rather slow-footed 7’1”, 265-plus. Yes, they can probably put quite a bit of speed on the ball using their size, but they’re simply too big and too slow a target to last very long.
Metta World Peace.
Have you seen his shooting percentage this season? He couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat.
Tarik Black, Thomas Robinson.
They’re basically the same person, physically, and while they’re probably more agile than the two guys just listed, they’re still just a little too big for my liking in this game.
Oh, and I would immediately apologize for getting either of these guys out, just to be safe.
Julius Randle, Larry Nance, Jr.
I’d probably give the slight edge to Randle because of his passing ability, but Nance basically floats so that feels like a bit of an advantage in this game.
Jordan Clarkson, D’Angelo Russell.
They’re finally playing more together, so it feels kind of fitting they’d be grouped together here. I actually think Clarkson would be better than Russell at this because of his athletic ability, but he would probably need to work on his passing.
Also, this outfit is basically the opposite of camouflage.
I almost wore the same hoodie to Lakers practice as Jordan Clarkson. Would have been soooooo awkward. AK pic.twitter.com/4qWPG30KCT— Kamenetzky Brothers (@KamBrothers) April 10, 2017
Ingram feels like the perfect combination of agility and length for dodgeball. If he turns sideways, he basically disappears, which feels important, too. He’s actually showed a pretty good arm this year, too.
Congratulations to Brandon, on what I’m sure is an unspeakable honor. I obviously left some players out. Let’s see your scouting report on the potential dodgeballers.