Kobe Bryant will retire in one week, and since announcing his retirement the Lakers' season has doubled as a farewell tour for the 20-year veteran. Bryant has received tribute videos at nearly every road arena (with the most memorable probably being the one from the Utah Jazz) as well as gifts from countless people around the league. Vlade Divac gave him a Hornets jersey with Bryant's name and number on it. Chris Paul, Dwyane Wade, and Carmelo Anthony gave Kobe a cane and a subscription to Netflix. The Atlanta Zoo named an actual black mamba after him.
In return for these tributes, Bryant has given anyone with "the cojones to ask" a pair of his signed shoes. The whole process has been a well-deserved but bizarre practice as Bryant's career games remaining tick down to zero, so Bleacher Report decided to parody the whole thing with another one of their hilarious "Game of Zones" videos. Take a look:
It's Kobe the Mamba Bryant B/R presents #GameOfZones Episode 5: The Purple Retirement https://t.co/5Ad1XkZxfU— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) April 6, 2016
There is almost too much good stuff here to note all of it. Nick Young as Bryant's lackey was inspired casting, D'Angelo Russell sneakily giving the raven on his shoulder a secret message was hysterical, and the downtrodden Sixers kneeling at Bryant's feet was pretty great too. However, the best part was probably either Shaq asking Kobe how his ass tastes:
Or Kobe calling Dwight Howard soft one last time:
But from Mitch Kupchak sitting at Bryant's side to Michael Jordan sending Frank Kaminsky to read a scroll explaining his absence, the whole thing was great. Even the shot at Kobe's lack of torch passing at the end. If you've read this far and didn't watch it, change that.
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