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Something just occurred to me: wasn't Theo Ratliff supposed to be back by now? At one point there was talk he'd return before Andrew Bynum. Did the Lakers just decide to stash him in a nursing home and move on with their lives, like Homer did with Grandpa Simpson?

Shake yourself up a Perfect Manhattan whenever someone mentions:

  • The Lakers' pick-and-roll defense,
  • Kobe Bryant's place on the all-time scoring list,
  • Ronny Turiaf and "energy" in the same sentence,
  • Willis Reed, or
  • The Phoenix Suns.

Seriously, can someone please find Theo? He could be lost and confused, and he needs to finish his applesauce before going to bed.

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