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Someone Made a Theo Ratliff Mixtape Video

Remind me never to do this again. Needing something to post on a Saturday that would entail the minimum of effort on my part, I strolled my ass over to YouTube thinking, "Hey, I wonder if there are any good Theo Ratliff tribute videos." What followed when I typed Theo Ratliff into the search bar was the most depressing YouTube experience of my life. And I subscribe to your sister's bathroom-webcam channel.

Turns out, there are indeed Theo Ratliff videos. Plenty of them, in fact. Thing is, 90% of the uploads are Theo getting dunked on. Name a guy who's drawn a paycheck from an NBA team in the last 15 years, and odds are there's a YouTube clip of him packing it down on ol' Theo. For instance, DeAndre Jordan. And J.J. Hickson. And Carmelo Anthony. This Josh Smith dunk is especially savage. Do you prefer something in a Jermaine O'Neal flavor? That's on the menu, too. 

Theo, apparently, has been dunked on with great regularity over the years. Which isn't surprising, when you think about it. If you're a 6'10" defensive specialist whose primary job is to defend the rim, and you've been good enough at it to log more than 20,000 career minutes, you're going to whiff on more than a few of your block attempts, which will result in ample footage of dudes jamming at your expense. But was it really necessary for someone to cut together the Top 10 Dunks on Theo Ratliff? That's taking it too far, YouTube. TOO FAR!

After the jump, a clip that's short and low in production values, but that unironically pays tribute to some of Theo's highlights over the years. Hilariously, it includes footage of Theo swatting Bryant Reeves and taking Detlef Schrempf to the rack, back when the latter was still a SuperSonic and the SuperSonics still existed. Conclusion: Theo Ratliff is the oldest person who's ever lived.

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