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Mitch Kupchak Can't Stop, Won't Stop

What's up, brohemians. It's a Friday evening in July, which usually means the page views dry up for NBA sites such as the top-quality one you're reading right now. Laker GM Mitch Kupchak, however, looks like he's doing everything he can to keep the lights on around here. Having wrapped up the signings of Theo Ratliff and Matt Barnes yesterday, you'd think he'd call it a week and make an early Friday exit from the office. Turns out you'd be totally wrong, like that time you thought your mom was going out for a pack of Virginia Slims and she actually came over to my place.

Information just keeps flowing from the Kupchak newshole. Here's what we learned today.

Shannon Brown - could still return to the Lakers. Mitch says that he's "still talking to Shannon. I think there's a good chance that in the next couple of weeks we can have some resolution there with Shannon. I'm optimistic." OK, technically, Shannon signing with another team would qualify as "resolution," but I get what he's saying. And if Mitch is optimistic, I'm optimistic.

Luke Walton - could miss the entire season because of his back. "Absolutely," sayeth Kupchak. "It's a possibility. It's not your run-of-the-mill type back problem." Dude, back problems are horrible. At least Luke should be able to score some sweet prescription meds from Charles Shackleford.

Matt Barnes - will wear jersey number 9 this season. His usual number 22 was worn by Elgin Baylor and is therefore retired. The last Laker to wear number 9? The mighty Sun Yue.

Theo Ratliff - has "manhood knowledge" that he intends to pass along to Andrew Bynum. Presumably this involves how to change the oil in your car and fight bullies.

Kobe Bryant - had arthroscopic surgery on his right knee last week. No word yet on what treatment he'll get on his troublesome finger. Perhaps Theo's manhood knowledge can be brought to bear on the question.

Devin Ebanks and Derrick Caracter - are in contract negotiations with the Lakers, a good sign that both will make the team.

Tracy McGrady - continues to mention the Lakers as a possible signing destination. This is getting weird. I literally have not heard one credible source suggest that the Lakers are interested in him. I'm starting to wonder whether this will be a repeat of the Kevin Hart recruitment thing, where T-Mac announces that he's signing with the Lakers, and the Lakers are all, "Uhh, that's news to us."

SB Nation - is on the rise, so don't you go anywhere.

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