Thanks to everyone who participated in our Sports Enemy tee-shirt giveaway jamboree. Your testimonials of Boston hatred were entertaining and bilious, just the way I like 'em. If you haven't read them all, do so here. As far as I'm concerned, creating a space in which people can bitch about the sports team they most despise is the best use ever invented for the Inter-Net. In a sense, you're all winners of this contest.
In another, more literal sense, only three of you are winners. It wasn't easy to pick out the best, but after at least 30 seconds of careful deliberation, I settled on three entries that most stood out for originality, comedy and undiluted hostility. The envelopes, please!
Our first lucky winner is noontide, who worked a phonetics lesson into his jeremiad.
It’s pronounced keltic not seltic you arrogant revisionists.
Kevin Garnett sweats out 5 gallons of fluid per second while some die of thirst.
Robert Parish got busted with my weed.
Unlike Larry, I never came from the French Lick.
Some people really need wheelchairs!
Pronunciation tips, a weed reference and a wheelchair joke: that's what I call a winning combination.
Our second winner, and these are listed in no particular order, is 99bc99, who went the lyrical route. Someone fire up a beat!
Limerick for the Leprechauns
The sweep prediction isn't working out, unfortunately, but the integrity of the rhyme structure is impressive. Extra credit given for name-checking Queensbridge.
Finally we get to igotasmanyringsaslebron. He or she is a man or women of few words, but that doesn't mean he (or she) can't hate with the best of them.
I know it's worth 1,000 words, but please only count the first 50.
Simple, elegant and hard-hitting. A timeless classic.
I'll be contacting the winners by email about how to get your sexy new tee. Thanks much to Sports Enemy for hooking us up. Be sure to visit their online store here whenever you're in the market for stylish attire.