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Can You Smell What Jake Voskuhl Is Cooking?

Here's a quick roundup of off-day news from Lakerdom. The team's in Minneapolis today awaiting tomorrow night's game against the Timberwolves and giving thanks that the franchise is no longer located in Minneapolis.

Andrew Bynum - has no idea when he'll be back. But does that stop anyone from making casual predictions about his return date? Brother, you know it doesn't!

Phil Jackson says the road trip starting December 10th in Chicago could be it. The ESPN Los Angeles guys are going with "by Christmas." If you're not pleased with either of these projections, don't sweat it. I'm sure we'll get a new set tomorrow.

Ron Artest - wants to play in the NFL when he's done with the Lakers. Upon hearing this news, Dan Snyder instructed his front office to offer Ron a $40 million guaranteed deal.

Jake Voskuhl - has been contacted by the Lakers in regard to the Theo Ratliff Memorial Depth-Chart Vacancy.

Jake Voskuhl - is not very good at the basketball. Also, I have a bad feeling that if the Lakers sign him, we're all going to be asked to start calling him "Jake the Snake." Let's just not, OK?

Derek Fisher - has a big conference call today. He's the president of the NBA Players' Association and in that capacity with speak with NBAPA executive director Billy Hunter league deputy commish Adam Silver about the league's expiring collective bargaining agreement. I assume Fish will be taking the call on his cell from the Mall of America.

This Guy - created a customized Laker car for Midnight Club. No word on whether it can reach Andrew Bynum's preferred driving speeds.


Follow Dex on Twitter @dexterfishmore.