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Lakers Win Boringest Game Ever

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Tonight the Los Angeles Lakers beat the Houston Rockets 88 to 79 in an early candidate for Game of the Decade. So many electric moments to relive! My favorite was when that Laker player did... that thing with the ball and, uh... totally scored. And then, when that guy on the Rockets had the ball and he did that one thing, but the Lakers played defense and the Rockets totally didn't score?? Someone find that clip on YouTube!

OK, I can't even fake this. The game ended an hour ago and I've already forgotten basically everything that happened. I remember the Rockets missing free throws, and the Lakers turning the ball over, and then the Rockets turning the ball over. I remember getting bored and searching for cute bunny pictures on the Internet. Then I turned back to the game, Andrew Bynum made some jump hooks and the Lakers won.

This game was just stupidly dull. You would only tell your grandkids about it as a form of punishment. Neither team could make a shot or dribble without tripping over themselves. Technically speaking, it was a close contest. After a first quarter burst that put them up by 12, the Lakers slogged along with a 5-9 point lead most of the night. But it never felt like the Rockets had the juice to hit six shots in a row and take the lead. As it turns out, they didn't, and they didn't.

Joel and Stu were super-enraptured by how the Rockets, in their oft-repeated words, "never stopped working," but they way oversold that talking point. I mean, I guess Houston played hard enough, but were they really any different from most NBA teams? It's not like squads routinely walk off the floor when they fall behind by eight. Cultivating a cute rep as gritty overachievers is nice. Making more than four out of 23 three-point attempts would've been nicer.

As for LA, Ron Artest was back in action. He didn't look great, but he dee'd up and had good energy. Bynum, with the paint all to himself once again, flashed his elegant post game for a game-high 24. And Lamar Odom was in Rebounding Goblin mode, collecting 19 reebs to go with 17 points, nine assists and a flu virus. Josh Powell entered the game and ran around for a while.

The boxscore, if you're perverted enough to be interested, is here. Your Lakers are 28-6. They now hit the road to face the Clippers tomorrow night.

 

Poss.

TO%

FTA/
FGA

FT%

EFG%

TS%

Off Reb%

Def Reb%

PPP

Hou.

91

19

0.26

65

43

46

17

66

0.87

L.A.

90

22

0.23

78

47

51

34

83

0.98