Things are about to get a little bit better or a whole lot worse. Ron Artest is already in Column B. The rest of us will await tonight's basketball contest between the Lakers and Kings to see whether life's still worth living.
Take a hit off that bottle of schnapps your sister gave you yesterday when any of the following comes out your TV.
- A comparison of Tyreke Evans to Brandon Jennings.
- Any pun involving Artest and Boxing Day.
- Any reference to the 2002 Kobe food-poisoning incident.
- A shot of Vlade Divac's retired jersey.
Seriously: this is the franchise that retired Vlade's jersey. The Lakers can't lose to these guys.