According to my research, the Cleveland Cavaliers are led by a promising young player named La Baron Jones. Never heard of him before. Can't tell you much else. He sounds like someone about whom Laker fans are completely indifferent and have no opinions whatsoever.
I'll watch him this afternoon and, if intrigued by the caliber and style of his play, I might explore the idea of writing an article comparing him to Kobe Bryant. No one's ever done that before, right? Didn't think so. *leans back in chair, cracks knuckles smugly*
Take a swig of that curdling egg nog upon the following events.
- Any mention of the Kobe-Shaq feud.
- Any mention of how Kobe and Shaq aren't feuding anymore.
- When Mark Jackson somehow brings up St. John's while discussing Ron Artest.
- Any ABC commercial outro that has one of the players wishing you a happy holidays. (Double swigs if player is wearing Santa hat.)
- When Anderson Varejao flops.
This Christmas, we dine on Cavalier!