Annihilation

So. That could've gone a little better.

Somebody please send a St. Bernard with a barrel of brandy, because tonight the Los Angeles Lakers got bludgeoned and left for dead high in the Rocky Mountains. The cold weather will keep their gaping wounds from turning gangrenous, but they can only hold out for so long. We need to get them back to LA, fast.

The Lakers played the Denver Nuggets about even for a half, trailing by only two points at the break. In the third quarter, though, they collapsed like my self-esteem that one time I asked a cheerleader to prom and her friends all laughed at me. Of the 12 players on the Lakers' active roster, like 10 played their worst game of the season. Nobody - I repeat, nobody - on the Lakers posted a positive plus/minus. The box score, which is rated R for ruh roh, can be found here.

I really didn't need this tonight. The Lakers have to realize I've got better ways to spend my Friday nights than watching them get nut-punched. There's my macrame club, for instance, and all the Stargate fan fic I could be writing. And do they think that girl who lives across the street is gonna secretly videotape herself? Quit wasting my time, dudes.

Here are the game stats. The Lakers are 7-2.