More photos » Jeff Gross - Getty Images

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One of the reasons I'm so good at writing about the Lakers is that my day-to-day lifestyle is very similar to that of the players themselves. Almost indistinguishable, really. For instance, both I and various Lakers are known to step out on the town with numerous beautiful and famous women at our sides. In my case, the "women" consist of pictures I've printed off the Internet, and "stepping out on the town" means I've taped those photos to my couch pillows, but that's splitting hairs. Fundamentally, I know what it's like to pursue love and romance in the harsh view of the camera eye.

So when a deluge of stories about Lakers and their wives, girlfriends and rumored consorts hits the news wire, I know what the bros are going through. I empathize. Today, I thought I'd share a few of those stories with you, so you can get a glimpse of the scurrilous gossip people like me and Lamar Odom have to struggle with.

In fact, let's get things started with Lamar and a shocking scene that unfolded after Team USA's victory over France this past weekend....

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More photos » Noah Graham - NBAE/Getty Images

about 1 month ago: LOS ANGELES - MAY 4: Yao Ming #11 of the Houston Rockets posts up against Pau Gasol #16 of the Los Angeles Lakers in Game One of the Western Conference Semifinals during the 2009 NBA Playoffs at Staples Center on May 5, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. The Rockets won 100-92. (Photo by Noah Graham/NBAE via Getty Images)

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Yesterday, the NBA finally released the complete schedule for the 2010-2011 season.  I've taken a look, and here are a couple of my quick hit thoughts regarding how it all stacks up for the Los Angeles Lakers

• There's no major imbalance in home vs. away games on the schedule, like last year's 17-4 home road split.  There is an imbalance down the stretch, as the Lakers close with 11 of their last 15 games at home.  Despite all the national and rival attention last year's start garnered, I'll take an easy finish over an easy start any day.
• The first likely loss seems to be @ Denver.  There are a few tricky games beforehand (@ Phoenix, home v. Portland, even the opener v. Houston), but going into Denver is the first game that really stands out as a difficult contest, one that the Lakers would be hard pressed to win.  If they make it that far, it will be a tidy little 8-0 start.
• The 1st back-to-back will be relatively easy, with a home contest vs. Memphis and a road contest vs. Sacramento the next day
• The Lakers have the lowest number of back-to-backs total in the league, at 15 this year, far less than the 20 they played last year.  I don't really want to give the haters any ammunition, but that is a legitimate scheduling advantage over rivals Boston (19), Miami (19) and Orlando (20), to say nothing of Chicago and Milwaukee, who tie for the most back to backs with 23.
• Even more advantage-y, two of that already low number of back-to-backs involve a home game and a "road" game against the Clippers.

More tidbits after the jump.

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I've been meaning to post this all week. Why haven't I? Because (a) I've been in Chicago melting in the heat at Lollapalooza, and (b) on the whole I'm just lazy and easily distracted. That second part you already knew.

Bryan Gutierrez is a writer at Mavs Moneyball, one of our sister SBN sites, and he hosts a weekly hoops podcast on which I was a guest this past Monday. We discussed various topics relating to the Lakers' offseason, including Kobe Bryant's surgery, the signings of Steve Blake and Matt Barnes and, of course, how the Lakers are reacting to the the Miami Heat thing. You can hear me hold forth in my trademark nasally tone by clicking here. I come in around the 59:00 mark. Go go GO!

BONUS PREMIUM CONTENT: After the jump, a photo of the Port-o-Potty Zone at Lollapalooza, which is the most disgusting place on earth. It's even nastier than that motel room your mom uses.

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More photos » Ronald Martinez - AP

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Honestly, I'd kind of forgotten that Shannon Brown was still out there. Nothing against the guy. It's just that free agency seemed to end a couple weeks ago, at which point my brain pivoted to other important topics, like the new season of Jersey Shore. I'm not that great at multitasking.

Buy hey, what do we have here? It's our old buddy Shannon Brown, apparently about to re-up with the Lakers for $4.6 million over two years. Put words in the mouth of your client, agent Mark Bartelstein:

"Obviously, the process took a while, but Shannon wanted to be here and they wanted him," Bartelstein said. "Shannon had a number of other opportunities out there, but he had been in L.A. for two years and they won two championships. The chance to go for a three-peat is very special to him."

Yes, it's very special to all of us. Welcome back, Shannon! If I'd had some advance notice, I would've brought cupcakes.

The terms of the deal seem fair to everyone involved. The average yearly salary of $2.3 million is a slight raise from what Shannon would've earned if he hadn't opted out of his old contract. He also gets the security of a second year. Even better for him, that second year is at his option, so if he blows up this year, he can always go shopping for a bigger deal in 2011. The Lakers, meanwhile, get a known quantity back at reasonable cost. All should be happy with this one.

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More photos » Eric Gay - AP

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So reports Lisa Dillman of the L.A. Times. The three main storylines, of course, will the presentation of the Lakers' championship rings, the hanging of a new banner and the possible return of Yao Ming. My great hope, however, will be that Devin Ebanks sees some PT, prompting the announcers to compare him to Trevor Ariza a conservatively estimated 3 billion times.

The opening week, Christmas Day and Martin Luther King Day schedules will be released later today. 

The headline above and the electrifying photo to the right capture the most interesting thing to happen at Matt's introductory press conference today. Except when he said that he's always despised the Lakers, he thinks it sucks he has to play for Phil Jackson, and he's never getting another tattoo.

No. Crap, wait... let me double check.

(*squints, sticks tongue out side of mouth in concentration*)

Yeah, sorry. Turns out he said the opposite of those things. I'm a good reporter!

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Eating at professional sporting events is a terrifying journey into the unknown. The ingredients used are of questionable provenance, the preparation equipment often appears to have been requisitioned from local freshman dorm rooms, and the employees charged with getting the cuisine from the heat lamp to your waiting hands don't usually look 100% committed to their current career paths. That's why beer is made available: to overcome these very rational concerns you may have about ingesting concession-stand grub and persuade you to part with cash monies in return for salt-festooned snack treats.

That, and so people have something to throw at Ron Artest.

The best stadium food will have enough sauce and cheese to mask the shocking amounts of grease that are entering your system. The worst will roil your digestive tract and instantly knock a year or two off your actuarial life expectancy. I used to live in NYC, where my buddies and I would attend a dozen or so Knicks games every year. I still remember the first of these games I attended, at which I made the mistake of ordering MSG's signature menu item, the "Garden Dog." Or as I now refer to it: The Thing That Should Not Be. That was five years ago, and the stench has still not left my nasal passages. If you told me Garden Dogs are made using the ground-up carcasses of hobos kidnapped from Penn Station, I wouldn't doubt you for a second.

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What's up, brohemians. It's a Friday evening in July, which usually means the page views dry up for NBA sites such as the top-quality one you're reading right now. Laker GM Mitch Kupchak, however, looks like he's doing everything he can to keep the lights on around here. Having wrapped up the signings of Theo Ratliff and Matt Barnes yesterday, you'd think he'd call it a week and make an early Friday exit from the office. Turns out you'd be totally wrong, like that time you thought your mom was going out for a pack of Virginia Slims and she actually came over to my place.

Information just keeps flowing from the Kupchak newshole. Here's what we learned today.

Shannon Brown - could still return to the Lakers. Mitch says that he's "still talking to Shannon. I think there's a good chance that in the next couple of weeks we can have some resolution there with Shannon. I'm optimistic." OK, technically, Shannon signing with another team would qualify as "resolution," but I get what he's saying. And if Mitch is optimistic, I'm optimistic.

Luke Walton - could miss the entire season because of his back. "Absolutely," sayeth Kupchak. "It's a possibility. It's not your run-of-the-mill type back problem." Dude, back problems are horrible. At least Luke should be able to score some sweet prescription meds from Charles Shackleford.

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