Like most Americans, I like to start my day with a quick jaunt across the internet in an attempt to catch up on any important part of the world I might have missed while dreaming my dreams. It being the doldrums of summer, imagine my surprise when I saw that there was a Lakers-centric byline right there on the sidebar of a certain "Entertainment and sports leader's" main page. My first thought upon reading the headline was "D'uh, of course he should". And my second? Uncontrollable giggling. I quickly ensured the visual evidence would not be lost to the world of the fast moving news cycle, so that I might now present it to you as part of a newly created and hopefully recurring feature: This Week in Terrible Headlines.
The story is that one of the Buss children recently discussed the team's affairs on the radio and said, among other things, that Kobe Bryant should remain with the Los Angeles Lakers for the rest of his career, no matter how long that career is. It is a sentiment with which I think we can all agree. Kobe is a living legend, one of the NBA's greatest, and he absolutely deserves to remain in purple and gold for the rest of his career. It would be tragic for any other possibility to emerge. It's not exactly news, but like I said, in the doldrums of summer, stuff gets in that wouldn't necessarily pass the bar during other times of the year. And one can understand the headline writer's concern ... after all, with the passing of the beloved Dr. Buss, there are now quite a few Buss children who are all technically involved with the Lakers organization in some capacity. This ain't Dallas, where "Cuban says Dirk should be a Mav for life" says all that it needs to. You need to go a little further with so many cooks in the kitchen, or Busses in the depot if you will. So said headline writer thought "I know, I'll throw in the first initial. Then, everybody will know who I'm talking about."
J. Buss says Kobe should be Laker for life.
Unfortunately for our friend, Dr. Buss, besides apparently coming from the Will Hunting school of child naming, wanted all of his beloved children to have names starting with the letter he always wished his name actually started with (Dr. Jerry's real name was Gerald). So, he named his kids accordingly: Johnny, Jimmy, Jeanie, Janie, Joey and Jesse. Therein lies the problem for our erstwhile headline writer.
They are all J. Buss.
Was the quote from the young Joey Buss, fresh off a summer practice with the Lakers' D league affiliate, the D-fenders, for whom Joey serves as team president? Was it a quote Janie Buss dropped at a charity event hosted by the Lakers' charity arm, which she heads? Did Jesse Buss take time to say the quote between hits of a beer bong at an LMU frat party? Or perhaps Johnny Buss, the oldest sibling, decided to share the quote via his "Facebook meets Fine Art" start up social networking site, Musester?
No, in all likelihood, the quote would come from one of the two Buss siblings who are most directly involved with the team. Sister Jeanie runs the business side of the Lakers organization, and brother Jimmy runs the basketball and personnel side of the team. And even if you narrow it down to those two very likely sources of quotable material regarding the Lakers and/or Kobe Bryant, well, they are still both J. Buss.
Sorry, dear headline writer. Next time you write a headline for a story about the Lakers ownership, you are going to have to dig for a few more letters. It's probably safest to just go with the whole first name. Until then, you win the award for This Week's Terrible Headline.
Thanks to Drew Garrison for the screenshot and headline image.