I woke up this morning to read that Kobe and Vanessa have called off their divorce. This is great news if only because any family break up, especially with children, is a small tragedy. Adults walk away with scars and children grow up with irreparable emotional damage.
I started posting on SS&R a little over a year ago. I was looking for an outlet while my world seemed to be falling apart. My own marriage wasn't going so well and while I was studying for the California State Bar Examination, I was 100% sure that my wife was having an affair (a suspicion that eventually proved correct). I was miserable, hated myself, and was not functioning well at all. Somehow I pulled through, I have a new job starting soon, and my divorce is about to be finalized.
So why bring up my own personal life? I think it's important to draw comparisons to demonstrate what works and what doesn't. I have no idea about the inner workings or dynamics of Kobe's relationship. What I can tell you is that both Kobe and Vanessa should be commended for making another attempt at their relationship, especially since children are involved.
Half of you reading this will get divorced based on pure statistics. Don't believe me? I sure as heck didn't think I would either. I'm a pretty devout Catholic and went through marriage counseling, but I forgot to weigh the most important part of the marriage equation--you MUST be with someone that puts 150% of themselves into the marriage every single day. Without that, the union is unbalanced and becomes untenable. You need to love as hard as you can every day; find someone that can match that intensity.
Now don't mistake this as a "poor me" post. I'm in my 20's, definitely not ugly, an attorney, and have a great job. My life kind of rocks now. It doesn't change that the divorce is difficult. In fact, it will forever be my greatest failure even though I know it wasn't my fault.
What I'm trying to say is this--regardless of their faults, regardless of their marital problems, use Kobe and Vanessa's perseverance as inspiration when you make the biggest commitment of your life. They are, without a doubt, to be commended. I actually pray that they do make it and grow old with each other.
I pray you all get to do the same thing, but it all starts with being smart, working hard, and picking someone that is also willing to work just as hard. You can all do it. When you do, it will be your greatest personal triumph, trust me.
Good luck to Mr. & Mrs. Bryant, good luck to you all, and thank you for such a great community.