We all need some cheering up after the depressing results of the last two Laker games. So let me share this list of Robert Jaworski "facts", just for some fun. Actually, you need to be a Filipino to fully appreciate it, but, I think, you’ll still think they're funny even if you’re not.
Anyway, for those who aren’t Filipinos, let me first give you a brief background to the Philippines’ very own Robert Jaworski.
Robert Salazar Jaworski, or "Jawo" as he is more affectionately known, is probably the most popular basketball player in the history of the Philippine Basketball Association (PBA) – the Filipino version of the NBA league. Though he is part of PBA’s 25 Greatest Players of All Time, he’s not really the undisputed G.O.A.T like what MJ is in the NBA (there could be three to four names in the debate). Nonetheless, he’s the most legendary basketball player in the Philippines.
Jaworski is 6’1 and played point guard during his career. He was a very competitive player. He played fiery basketball (some said, he was even dirty) and always had the "never say ‘die!’" spirit in him. He actually only won one MVP and had four All-Star appearances during his entire career. But what makes him stand out was his tenure in the league. He played in the league for a total of… get ready for this… 23 years (1975-1998)! Note: each PBA season/year usually have 3 conferences or tournaments, so we can say that Jawo played for around 69 "seasons". He became a playing coach at the second half of his career and even had the experience of playing with his son in one team. This longevity is what made him a legend. In fact, his nickname was "The Living Legend." He retired at age 52.
Oh, he only retired from basketball because he won after running for the Philippine Senate during the 1998 elections as an independent candidate. He served one term (6 years) and lost when he ran for re-election. If not for venturing in politics, there was a rumor that Jawo would never retire and would have continued on playing basketball until he’s on a wheelchair.
So, now that you know who Robert Jaworski is, let’s have some fun with some Robert Jaworski "facts". I found this in somebody’s deviantart page (thus, the grammar errors are not mine. lol)
The Legend of Jaworski
- Jaworski is the Chuck Norris of basketball.
- Jaworski can do a 720 dunk while brushing his teeth or driving his car.
- Jaworski had played Basketball before it was invented.
- Jaworski can score 200 points, 50 assists and 40 rebounds using a bowling ball.
- Jaworski can score 100 points in Araneta Coliseum while playing at Cuneta Astrodome.
- Jaworski can buy a Mikasa basketball at the Spalding store.
- Only Jaworski buys a Kaypee basketball shoes at the Nike center.
- Everything that Michael Jordan knew about basketball he learned it from the pet dog of Jaworski.
- Dennis Rodman, Ben Wallace, Lebron James, Yao Ming and Shaq can only last 3 seconds against Jaworski before going to the Hospital.
- The Ankle breaker moves are invented by Jaworski himself by breaking the ankles of 100 Sumo Wrestlers.
- The Basketball court of Jaworski is 100 hectares big; the Ring itself is 100 meters high.
- The Space Jam Alien Monsters challenged Michael Jordan because they know they cannot handle Jaworski.
- Jaworski had injured more people than any Martial artists, Boxers and Wrestlers.
- Each of Jaworski hair strands can make a three point shot.
- The toe nail of Jaworski had made more Assists than Magic Johnson, Steve Nash and Jason Kidd put together.
- Gatorade sports drink is made from the sweat of Jaworski.
- Jaworski never missed a shot; it’s the basket that missed the ball.
- Jaworski only retires to give chance to others; he can play basketball a hundred years from now and still won a MVP.
- Jaworski doesn’t dribble; it’s the ball that bounces itself because of excitement.
- Jaworski is the only basketball player that is allowed to commit 500 fouls in every game.
- Wonder how he got all those Assists? He got eyes on his back, literally.
- Jaworski can play, coach, manage, watch and be the Referee all at the same time.
- As a sperm cell, Jaworski already won an MVP.
- Jaworski only lost a game when he isn’t playing but his look-alike driver.
- All basketball records are made by Jaworski those that are written are the ones who got the closest.
- Jaworski had played basketball against Godzilla, King Kong, Ultra man, Daimos and Voltes V. He won the game and all his opponents were injured.
- Jaworski basketball shoes are 100 tons heavy, he uses it so that he can move slower and jump lower.
- When Kobe Bryant visited the Philippines he had a secret meeting with Jaworski. Kobe prayed in front of Jaworski, then kisses his foot and says "I’m not worthy".
- The fade away shot is invented by Jaworski while inside the bathroom.
- The statistics of Jaworski is 30 points per game, 15 assists per game and 12 rebounds per game but that is only for a single finger.
- Jaworski can beat the 300 Spartans and 300,000 thousand Persians using a basketball.
- Jaworski can shoot the ball coming from the moon.
- Jaworski can hit a supersonic jet with a basketball.
- Jaworski had more points, assists and rebounds than the grains of sand.
- The craters on the moon are all made by Jaworski throwing a ball on it coming from the earth.
- Falling stars are really stars that fell when hit by a basketball by Jaworski.
- If the Justice League will play a game against Jaworski, all of them will be injured.
- Some earthquakes are caused when Jaworski dribbles a ball.
- The Dinosaurs became extinct when they played a game against Jaworski.
- Long time ago Jaworski dunked a planet into a ring of asteroids and today we call it as the planet Saturn.
- Michael Jordan has an altar with the picture of Jaworski and prays to it six to ten times a day.
- Jaworski is the god of basketball.
Oh, what do you think of the idea of Kobe retiring at 52 like Jaworski? lol