Kobe Bryant: Good evening ladies and gentleman. I am Kobe Bryant and this is the KOBE SYSTEM.
Metta World Peace: Kobe cut the shit man I'm the only person in here besides you.
Kobe Bryant: Are you?
Metta World Peace: Looks diligently around the auditorium sits backs down and says I am sure.
Kobe Bryant: Aren't you the same guy who changed his name to Metta World Peace but refers to himself in the third person using your former name Ron Artest?
Metta World Peace: Yeah but..
Kobe Bryant: I'm not finished, as Ron Artest you pushed me to the brink in the Semi-Finals as a Houston Rocket. As Ron Artest you helped bring a NBA Finals Championship to Los Angeles. As Metta World Peace you are involuntarily starring in America's Extreme Makeover with all the bricks you have been laying.
Metta World Peace: So what is your point Kobe?
Kobe Bryant: The world doesn't need Global peace, it needs Ron Artest.
Metta World Peace: To speak for the world is pretty arrogant of you Kobe. Of course the world could use world peace, no more food shortages, wars, wide spread crime. I think you are out of touch.
Kobe Bryant: Perhaps, or maybe I'm trying to get you to prioritize your goals more effectively until you reach your ultimate objective.
Metta World Peace: Exactly, so I should change my name back to Ron Artest. Officially close the door on the advertisement campaign, and really get out there and start a grass root movement.
Kobe Bryant: No.
Metta World Peace: If not that I'm confused. What should I do?
Kobe Bryant: Understandable, most people with split personalities tend to be. To answer your question, I think you should start off with a smaller more attainable goal.
Metta World Peace: Like what?
Kobe Bryant: Your first goal should be shooting more than 17% from the 3 point line.
Metta World Peace: I'm confused what does this have to do with World Peace. What else do I need to do to help my shot?
Kobe Bryant: Severely tear a ligament if your shooting wrist.
Metta World Peace:Kobe that doesn't make sense then I'll shoot even worse.
Kobe Bryant: It worked for me I'm at 27% right now, and Metta it can't get any worse than 17%.
Kobe Bryant: Your next goal should be to get the ball as close to the basket as possible before you take a shot.
Metta World Peace: Kobe what does this have with ...
Kobe Bryant: Your third goal is to remove that oxy-moronic slogan from your back immediately. You look utterly redicoulous.
Metta World Peace: I see how this effects our chances to win, however it does nothing for world peace.
Kobe Bryant: So you're saying another NBA Finals ring will not bring peace to your world?
Metta World Peace: Well when you put it like that I think so! Is that how you feel Kobe when the clock ticks to zero and your celebrating another NBA championship?
Kobe Bryant: No.
Metta World Peace: No? Well what do you feel?
Kobe Bryant: Hungry.
Metta World Peace: Hungry?
Kobe Bryant: Hungry as a hostage.
Metta World Peace: I AM SO LOST RIGHT NOW.
Kobe Bryant: Your Welcomed.