Happy Mark Jackson Liberation Day!!
by C.A. Clark on Jun 7, 2011 1:31 PM PDT
in LOL WUT
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PrintThere ain't much in the way of news regarding the Los Angeles Lakers on the horizon, but today brings merriment of an altogether different sort. News broke this morning that the Golden State Warriors will hire Mark Jackson to be their next head coach, and considering how little we care about who coaches the Golden State Warriors, this literally could not have worked out better for us all. Consider the following positive implications of this hire to Laker Nation
Mark Jackson will no longer be an analyst for the network that owns rights to the marquee NBA games (in which the Lakers just so happen to participate ... often). Really, this deserves its own paragraph, and since I'm still writing this, I have the power to make that happen. Jackson's analytical stylings are like a cross between Hubie Brown and Scotty Brooks, except if you were to remove any indication whatsoever that the speaker has ever even seen the game of basketball. No more phrases that make no sense within the context of basketball, like "Mama, there goes that man". No more phrases that make no sense within the context of the english language, like "Hand down, man down" Really, it is impossible to get excited enough about this.
Here are some other reasons:
- The Lakers are now virtually guaranteed not to have made the worst coaching hire this offseason. I'm not saying this was ever a real possibility, but plenty of us have questioned the logic behind the Mike Brown hire. Still, the man does have pedigree, having served under Gregg Popovich. Mark Jackson has served under ... I don't know. The Hamburgler? Snuffleupagus? What's Dora the Explorer's track record as a head coach?
- Jeff Van Gundy will no longer have anybody willing to rise to the bait of his ridiculous statements on pop culture, meaning they will implode upon themselves and fizzle. On second thought, this may cause JVG to create pop culture black holes that will consume us all, so lets hope some other team ends up offering him a job as well.
Submit more reasons for celebration on this joyous day in the comments.
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It would be great if he still used those phrases while coaching
The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work. ~ a fortune cookie.
He's going to emphasize "Geat Defense,
but better Offense"
by FromDowntown on Jun 7, 2011 2:10 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Grown man moves?
"Thoughts are aplenty. Most of 'em not good." - Derek Fisher
by _logan_ on Jun 7, 2011 4:11 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Someone with Paint skills needs to draw up a Mark Jackson playbook
Kelly Dwyer is without a doubt one of the worst sportswriters in the world. The only reason I say he's "one of the" and not "THE worst" is because I haven't read enough of the Russians' coverage of the NBA to make a fair assessment.
by Derek Fisher's Intangibles on Jun 7, 2011 7:52 PM PDT up reply actions
lol i can imagine:
“Hey guys! keep your hands up! because…
HAND DOWN, MAN DOWN!"
"our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Confucius
"When Jordan retired, you just thought a player like that wouldn’t come along again. But then Kobe almost immediately drew those comparisons, and that says it all. He established his own identity as one of the best players to ever play the game." -Hakeem
I take exception to your bashing on Snuffleupagus. Dude was the shit!
Seriously though, I wondered how Jerry West could say it’s comparable to hiring Pat Riley to coach the Lakers when he had no coaching experience. Pat Riley was an assistant coach, whereas Mark Jackson was an assistant analyst.
Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates
Yes, I'm smug, withholding, and judgmental, but at least I'm better than you. - Anonymous
Tweetness: @SoCalGal64
by SoCalGal on Jun 7, 2011 2:04 PM PDT reply actions 5 recs
Reminds me of this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLdim8hWR44
"Winning takes talent; to repeat takes character." - John Wooden
ROFL, I love that special so much!
I cry every time I watch it.
Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates
Yes, I'm smug, withholding, and judgmental, but at least I'm better than you. - Anonymous
Tweetness: @SoCalGal64
Another reason: we won't have to hear him make a statement that Jeff Van Gundy disagrees with.
Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates
Yes, I'm smug, withholding, and judgmental, but at least I'm better than you. - Anonymous
Tweetness: @SoCalGal64
ugh... it must be a slow day in Laker town.
i hate not having the lakers in the finals.
He got his name when his parents were in a restaurant. His father was very pleased with a steak he ordered and at the time his mother was pregnant. So his dad asked the waiter what's the name of the steak that he ordered and the waiter, obviously told him. It's called, Kobe.
Right?!
There’s something fundamentally wrong with it, like 1+15 = 3 or something like that.
Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates
Yes, I'm smug, withholding, and judgmental, but at least I'm better than you. - Anonymous
Tweetness: @SoCalGal64
less stressful though
"Shaq finished his career 1-22 from 3-point range, which would have made him one of the better shooters on this year’s Laker playoff squad." - D4P
I agree with you both
He got his name when his parents were in a restaurant. His father was very pleased with a steak he ordered and at the time his mother was pregnant. So his dad asked the waiter what's the name of the steak that he ordered and the waiter, obviously told him. It's called, Kobe.
indeed
Mo' Everything
"Please remember: it's not my fault your team sucks." - DexterFishmore
Stalk, err, Follow me on Twitter: @bluefalcon916
You forgot...
“Taking it to the streets!” MJ wasn’t my favorite nba analyst by any stretch of the imagination but realistically speaking was he really all that much more annoying than JVG? I dont think so. On the other hand… I liked how both of them approached their respective analysis with very unconventional veiwpoints at times but on the real… give me Hubie Brown and Mike Tirico every day of the week and I will definitely enjoy watching that game.
Somebody please give Van Gundy a coaching gig!
I agree with you about JVG, yeah Mark said some goofy stuff, but Van Gundy? God, he is so NOT funny and sometimes his comments are downright Offensive. But disagree on Hubie Brown, (or Doug Collins), both of them talk too damned much about technical shit and drone on and on…and while we’re at it, get rid of Reggie Miller, gr-r-r, just something about his commenting gets on my last freakin nerve.
Mike Tirico is horrible and is as bad if not worse than mark jackson
i love me some mama there goes that man,could be wrong but the first person i heard him say that about was kobe on all those sunday games
Czheck Productions
Beatsforyounow.com music community
I've never done anything good for the world, and I'm not about to start now-DF
Yes, Mark Jackson is really much more annoying than JVG
Atleast JVG has the occasional insightful thing to say. Mark Jackson on the other hand is like a robot built with the sole purpose to spout trite cliches and terrible catchphrases. Even his excitement sounds manufactured. Only Reggie Miller comes close in terms of the annoying factor.
Hubie on the other hand is a god when it comes to announcing games.
Kelly Dwyer is without a doubt one of the worst sportswriters in the world. The only reason I say he's "one of the" and not "THE worst" is because I haven't read enough of the Russians' coverage of the NBA to make a fair assessment.
by Derek Fisher's Intangibles on Jun 7, 2011 7:47 PM PDT up reply actions
he made that for Kobe and Hand Down Man down which makes perfect sense to me
yall are too hard on Mark he was cool with me. all those cliches were made for Kobe. Just respect is what i call it
by Blackmamba81024 on Jun 8, 2011 10:13 AM PDT up reply actions
it just feels so weird.
i got so used to going to the games and watching them on tv this time of year.
but i have to admit, it is very much less stressful. although, i think i’ll take the stress if it means the lakers hoisting another banner up at staples.
He got his name when his parents were in a restaurant. His father was very pleased with a steak he ordered and at the time his mother was pregnant. So his dad asked the waiter what's the name of the steak that he ordered and the waiter, obviously told him. It's called, Kobe.
oops. this was meant to be a reply to my above post.
reply FAIL
He got his name when his parents were in a restaurant. His father was very pleased with a steak he ordered and at the time his mother was pregnant. So his dad asked the waiter what's the name of the steak that he ordered and the waiter, obviously told him. It's called, Kobe.
Wait, so mark Jackson hired away mike brown's "defensive specialist"?
So lemme get this straight…. The coach we hired as a defensive specialist now doesn’t have his….. Defensive specialist.
"Thoughts are aplenty. Most of 'em not good." - Derek Fisher
by _logan_ on Jun 7, 2011 4:13 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
You sound so...defensive.
Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates
Yes, I'm smug, withholding, and judgmental, but at least I'm better than you. - Anonymous
Tweetness: @SoCalGal64
yeah I don't get that either.
Mike Brown’s defensive specialist signed with a rookie head coach instead of… Mike Brown? That’s not a good sign.
Affectionately,
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar,
NBA’s All-Time Leading Scorer
by afrikabamboodle on Jun 7, 2011 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions
Because they threw a ton of money at him
And need him to make up for Jackson’s deficiencies…which probably will be numerous. He’s a luxury for L.A., as Brown is already a solid defensive coach in his own right. Plus, he’ll have plenty of defensive specialists on his staff if he hires Person and Grgurich.
To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself. -- Sun Tzu
lol
Mo' Everything
"Please remember: it's not my fault your team sucks." - DexterFishmore
Stalk, err, Follow me on Twitter: @bluefalcon916
Malone?
Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates
Yes, I'm smug, withholding, and judgmental, but at least I'm better than you. - Anonymous
Tweetness: @SoCalGal64
I liked "Mama there goes that man"
That phrase is practically synonymous with Kobe.
Affectionately,
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar,
NBA’s All-Time Leading Scorer
by afrikabamboodle on Jun 7, 2011 4:16 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
I guess lebron's would be "man, there goes my mama!"
Too soon?
"Thoughts are aplenty. Most of 'em not good." - Derek Fisher
by _logan_ on Jun 7, 2011 4:29 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions 9 recs
I seriously lol'd
Like, 4real.
Hoping that when Lakers entered years of rebuilding, Juventus would stop sucking.
Hoping that when Juventus are sucking, Lakers would be contending for the championship.
i was jus about to say
Kobe=Mama there goes that man
Czheck Productions
Beatsforyounow.com music community
I've never done anything good for the world, and I'm not about to start now-DF
What's funny about this
is those who try to rationalize that this somehow could be a good hire? I mean sure, in a year Mark Jackson could be doing ok while playing Steph Curry and Monta an ungodly amount of minutes to keep the team above water, but overall that team needs a set structure with which they can build, unless they’re rebuilding even more from this point beginning with the coaching staff. This just makes no sense.
And I will gladly eat my words if he has an entire playbook and a defense in place his first year.
These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world... and then we fucked up the end game. - Charlie Wilson
The key to championships = SIGN LUTHER HEAD!!!!!!!!
Although
I’d love to hear someone rationalize this if they replaced Mark Jackson with Reggie Miller and see if the same “level heads” also think that he would make a great coach
These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world... and then we fucked up the end game. - Charlie Wilson
The key to championships = SIGN LUTHER HEAD!!!!!!!!
I'm amazed he got the gig
Over Brian Shaw and Dwane Casey. No explanation for it. And according to GSOM, Mike Budenholzer was a candidate as well. Almost inexplicable that they went with Jackson over any of those three, all of whom look like solid candidates.
To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself. -- Sun Tzu
Yeah man
I still can’t explain it. It makes no sense. At least the Mike Brown hire made some sense in some way, but Mark…. Jackson???? No way. And all these people talking about withholding judgment are just being diplomatic. They know this hire doesn’t make any sense and it is shocking to say the least. lol.
These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world... and then we fucked up the end game. - Charlie Wilson
The key to championships = SIGN LUTHER HEAD!!!!!!!!
Seriously
I mean, look at Messina. Dude has a resume arguably as impressive as any top tier college coach, and even he admitted that you have to pay your dues as an assistant in the league before getting a top job. He probably could have gotten the head job in Toronto if he really wished to, but instead wanted to get his feet wet first. And although it probably wouldn’t be likely given his salary demands, JVG once said that he’d be amenable to coming back into the league as an assistant (probably in a defensive coordinator role similar to what Thibs did in Boston) if the opportunity was right.
Doesn’t make sense why you reward the guy who not only has absolutely no experience, but sounds like a complete moron every time you turn on the television. And for all the GSOM people ecstatic about Michael Malone, why didn’t they just hire him as their head coach for the money they had to pay him to turn down coming to L.A.? And poor Dwane Casey, dude must be horrible at interviews. Can’t catch a break.
To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself. -- Sun Tzu
Doesn't help that he keeps calling everyone Dumbass when it's pronounced Dumas.
Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates
Yes, I'm smug, withholding, and judgmental, but at least I'm better than you. - Anonymous
Tweetness: @SoCalGal64
WOOHOOO
"I don't mind being the goat. I don't mind being the villain, hated. I've been that my whole career, so it's not like that's anything new. I don't mind people jumping on the bandwagon or jumping off. I just focus on playing the game." -Ron Artest
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Confucius
Can't believe that clown got a coaching gig!!!
Do these owners have zero imagination or no balls??? You’d think the Shawfather pissed in their cereal. I think too often there are owners who like kiss ass yes men trophy clown coaches.
Jackson
After your childish and moronic assessment of Mark Jackson, I am happy to say I will never read another word of your mindless drivel…. Get a life dude!
by Bar Nun on Jun 8, 2011 9:02 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
I shall rec this comment
for excessive use of adjectives and the use of the word drivel in the same paragraph as words like ‘Get’ and ‘Dude’
These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world... and then we fucked up the end game. - Charlie Wilson
The key to championships = SIGN LUTHER HEAD!!!!!!!!
What an awesomely moronic assessment of a supposedly moronic assessment.
Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates
Yes, I'm smug, withholding, and judgmental, but at least I'm better than you. - Anonymous
Tweetness: @SoCalGal64
I find this prudish assessment of his moronic assessment to be
of an incredibly trivial nature. in short form, you suck.
LMAO!!!!!!!!
These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world... and then we fucked up the end game. - Charlie Wilson
The key to championships = SIGN LUTHER HEAD!!!!!!!!
NOOOOOOooooo
I think I’m the only one sad to not hear him anymore. I know he can be annoying but cmon, he adds some life to some rather mundane games lol
"If you’re afraid to fail, then you’re probably going to fail. You know what I mean? Fuck it." -- Kobe "Black Mamba" Bryant
lol I think the same way
despite his terrible analysis, I loved those made-up nonsense sayings. lmao. doesn’t make him qualified to coach anywhere tho
These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world... and then we fucked up the end game. - Charlie Wilson
The key to championships = SIGN LUTHER HEAD!!!!!!!!
When I first read bout his hiring
I was more appalled by that than anything that ever came outta his mouf lol. Plus him not being an analyst breaks the goofy trio apart. I mean it was basically Mike Breen babysittin JVG n this guy and throwing in some serious commentating between the asinine banter lol
"If you’re afraid to fail, then you’re probably going to fail. You know what I mean? Fuck it." -- Kobe "Black Mamba" Bryant
this coaching hire makes sense
the only defense the warriors know how to play is “hand down, man down”
Quality is our dignity. Service is our lift.
point of all points
it took 5 steps to finally do this. the t and c at the end there was a nice finish. why let a rookie head coach take over after phil jackson? why not let mike brown-been to finals, “defensive” coach-take over for 2-3 years? then snatch up the next guy when brown gets axed. #forthewin
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