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Player Report Card: Theo Ratliff

In our continuing series of handing out grades for everyone who wore a Laker jersey this season, we now come to Theo Ratliff.  Much like the last player in this series, Joe Smith, Ratliff has also enjoyed quite the team-hopping tour as a player in the NBA, having now played for 9 different teams in 11 different stints as a player.  And while Joe Smith's career may have seen him as being vastly overpriced to his various teams in terms of the NBA draft, Ratliff's career has instead seen him as having been vastly overpriced to his various teams in the more conventional (and all too common, in the NBA) way of salary.  To illustrate just how overpriced Ratliff was for much of his career, Ratliff is at this point maybe most famous for the nickname various sportswriters gave him a few years ago: "Theo Ratliff's expiring contract".  This was due to the fact that despite coming off a multi-year contract that was already paying him over $10 million a year while averaging about 8 points and 7 rebounds per game, in 2004 the Portland Blazers decided to give him a three year contract extension worth $35 million, or about $11.7 million per season.  

If you're scratching your head as to how a player who never once averaged even 13 points or 8.5 rebounds per game for any season in the league (and who was also frequently injured) was able to bilk that kind of cash out of so many NBA front offices, it's for two reasons.  First, the man was Mutombo-esque in his ability to block shots, leading the league in blocks per game in the 2000-2001, 2002-2003 and in 2003-2004 seasons, while also finishing in the top 4 in that category in 4 other seasons.  The second reason is because most NBA owners are so foolishly stupid about how they spend their money on their players that we're on the verge of them having to lock the players out so they can try to get a grip on their own wild overspending.

Star-divide

After signing that huge contract extension in Portland in 2004, Ratliff quickly began finding himself packaged in trades and shipped away, having now played with 6 teams since that contract was signed.  In fact, despite having (barely) played for the Lakers this season, Ratliff's biggest impact on the Lakers in his career was that he was a significant piece traded away in deals that brought in key players to teams that faced the Lakers in the Finals not once, not twice but three times.  In 2001 Ratliff was having a great year with the Allen Iverson/Larry Brown Sixers until Ratliff got hurt, and this prompted the Sixers to trade Ratliff to Atlanta for Dikembe Mutombo, who went on to get absolutely manhandled by Shaq and the Lakers in the 2001 NBA Finals.  In 2004 Ratliff was then traded from Atlanta along with Shareef Abdur-Rahim to Portland in exchange for Rasheed Wallace, who a few days later was shipped off to the Detroit team that went on to beat the Lakers in the 2004 NBA Finals.  Then after being traded in 2006 from Portland to Boston, Ratliff's big expiring contract was packaged along with Al Jefferson to Minnesota in exchange for Kevin Garnett, who went on to help Boston beat the Lakers in the 2008 NBA Finals.

Ratliff's huge contract finally expired shortly after that, and while the Lakers spent the next two years winning championships, Theo played on veteran minimum contracts for the Sixers (again), the Spurs and the Bobcats, until last summer he caught Mitch Kupchak's eye and signed with the Lakers.  Ratliff's signing with the Lakers was largely an afterthought, and was more done for insurance just in case of injury to either Pau Gasol, Andrew Bynum or Lamar Odom.  At the time of the signing Bynum was expected to be fully recovered from off-season surgery by the time the season started, so the minutes we all expected (and hoped) be seeing Ratliff play were supposed to be nothing more than those of the garbage variety.

As we all know, however, Drew's recovery time from his knee surgery was far, far longer than anyone anticipated, and as a result Ratliff found himself counted on to play serious, key rotation minutes backing up Pau and Lamar in the frontcourt (along with rookie Derrick Caracter).  It turns out ol' Theo was not up to the challenge, as he himself suffered a knee injury just 8 games into the season that effectively was the end of Ratliff's contributions to the team.  Ratliff did play in three more games, going for two minutes apiece in the late March blowout game against Dallas and the second to last game of the year against the Spurs, and also logging one minute of playing time in the playoff opener loss to the Hornets; but I'm sure when the Lakers signed Ratliff they were hoping for more than 5 minutes of total playing time from November 10th on.

What most people (myself included) see as Ratliff's big mark on the team this year was the negative impact all the extra minutes he was signed to help soak up had on Pau Gasol's season.  Gasol came roaring out of the gate this year, and was getting some early season MVP talk while the Lakers began the year going 8-0 while Ratliff was there to absorb the minutes Bynum's absence created.  Once Ratliff got hurt Gasol was able to keep his production high for another week or two, but after that all the extra minutes really began to take a toll on him, and by the end of November Gasol was regularly scoring 16 points or less per game.  It's probably mainly a coincidence that the Lakers were undefeated through those 8 games that Ratliff was healthy in to start the year, but I don't think it's going too far to say that Ratliff's absence combined with Drew's prolonged recovery left the frontcourt stretched too thin, and that then led to the first four-game losing streak the Lakers had suffered since singing Pau Gasol.  

When the Lakers signed Theo Ratliff it was just as insurance, to be a player to fill in the gaps in case of injury. Unfortunately for us Ratliff failed in even this small task, and his final grade reflects this: D-

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I think Luke Walton's report card should just be the letter F.

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates
Yes, I'm smug, withholding, and judgmental, but at least I'm better than you. - Anonymous
Tweetness

by SoCalGal on Jun 13, 2011 9:44 AM PDT reply actions  

should have a gif or video of him

with his trademark no look between the legs pass. lol

Mo' Everything
"Please remember: it's not my fault your team sucks." - DexterFishmore
Stalk, err, Follow me on Twitter: @bluefalcon916

by bluexfalcon on Jun 13, 2011 10:19 AM PDT up reply actions  

Agreed

Can it come with a pink slip?

by Lkrs4eb on Jun 13, 2011 10:20 AM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Laugh Out Load @ the picture!!!

ahahahahaha

"If somebody had their life on the line, and they’ve got their options on who they want to save their life — tell me who you’re going to pick? You’re going to look at the stats first?" - Kobe Bryant

by desecrator09 on Jun 13, 2011 9:52 AM PDT reply actions  

that pretty much sums up his time here

"If somebody had their life on the line, and they’ve got their options on who they want to save their life — tell me who you’re going to pick? You’re going to look at the stats first?" - Kobe Bryant

by desecrator09 on Jun 13, 2011 9:53 AM PDT up reply actions  

This.

Follow Me here: http://twitter.com/Michael_Necci

by Michael_Necci on Jun 13, 2011 10:19 AM PDT up reply actions  

Theo looks like a cross between Wade and Dwight Howard

except no where near as good.

"Shaq finished his career 1-22 from 3-point range, which would have made him one of the better shooters on this year’s Laker playoff squad." - D4P

twitter

by shaqfor3 on Jun 13, 2011 10:49 AM PDT reply actions  

Especially on the Dwight part.

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates
Yes, I'm smug, withholding, and judgmental, but at least I'm better than you. - Anonymous
Tweetness

by SoCalGal on Jun 13, 2011 11:09 AM PDT up reply actions  

I'll put it this way

I’d rather have old farts like Theo Ratliff and Joe Smith than old farts like Juwan Howard and Erick Dampier.

Leaving Jimmer Fredette open for 3 is like leaving Brad Pitt alone with your wife. You know he's gonna hit it.

by RA37thriller on Jun 13, 2011 11:21 AM PDT reply actions  

Juwan Howard played more than 5 minutes in the playoffs

I’ll take that over sitting on the bench in a suit anyday

These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world... and then we fucked up the end game. - Charlie Wilson

The key to championships = SIGN LUTHER HEAD!!!!!!!!

by Marty Mart on Jun 13, 2011 3:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

Juwan Howard's also a punk.

Leaving Jimmer Fredette open for 3 is like leaving Brad Pitt alone with your wife. You know he's gonna hit it.

by RA37thriller on Jun 13, 2011 5:15 PM PDT up reply actions  

F

He got injured and basically didn’t do anything to help our chances at a 3peat, where’s turiaf and dj when you need them, cheap ass lakers we had some good pieces

"Hardwork beats talent when talent fails to work hard"-Norm Nixon

There are basic Fundamentals that are needed to move forward in this game. Always keep your guard up at all times to avoid being caught in a trap. Overcome the fouls that will be committed against you REBOUND AND PRESS ON. ADJUST to the Limelight: ALL-STAR PLAYERS ARE ALWAYS THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. Know what your role is and play your position. Find a game plan and execute it. REMEMBER YOU ONLY GET OUT OF THE GAME WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT.

I'm on it so let's tweet: @B_M_Bizness

by BrittneyM on Jun 13, 2011 11:29 AM PDT via mobile reply actions  

Good old Ratliff

He should just retire at this point.

by NewCavsfan on Jun 13, 2011 11:34 AM PDT reply actions  

Kupchak says this will probably happen.

He’s 38 and there’s no chance he’ll be useful to anyone after returning from injury.

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates
Yes, I'm smug, withholding, and judgmental, but at least I'm better than you. - Anonymous
Tweetness

by SoCalGal on Jun 13, 2011 11:42 AM PDT up reply actions  

Thank god

Joe Smith needs to go also. If we can convince Walton and Fisher to retire, we would have 4 open roster spots for our 2nd round picks. Maybe they can work out after all.

by NewCavsfan on Jun 13, 2011 12:16 PM PDT up reply actions  

Fisher is not retiring.

He definitely needs to stick around as president of the NBAPA.

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates
Yes, I'm smug, withholding, and judgmental, but at least I'm better than you. - Anonymous
Tweetness

by SoCalGal on Jun 13, 2011 12:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

That photo....

nuff said.

"If you’re afraid to fail, then you’re probably going to fail. You know what I mean? Fuck it." -- Kobe "Black Mamba" Bryant

by jXn on Jun 13, 2011 11:51 AM PDT reply actions  

Hmmm

Was this the guy that missed those 2 T foul shots all alone.

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance." -Confucius

by TheLeetSkeet on Jun 13, 2011 12:37 PM PDT reply actions  

Yeah. He's a poor ft shooter, which is why the other team (I think Dallas) picked him to shoot.

"If you have a debate with a scholar, you can win. If you have a debate with an ignorant person, you will definitely lose."

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein

by LakerAce on Jun 13, 2011 1:15 PM PDT up reply actions  

in the 71 minutes he played with us

he shot 1-6 from the field, grabbed 13 boards, turned the ball over 3 times, and scored a grand total of 2 points.

"Shaq finished his career 1-22 from 3-point range, which would have made him one of the better shooters on this year’s Laker playoff squad." - D4P

twitter

by shaqfor3 on Jun 13, 2011 1:49 PM PDT reply actions  

13 rebounds?!

MVP MVP MVP

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates
Yes, I'm smug, withholding, and judgmental, but at least I'm better than you. - Anonymous
Tweetness

by SoCalGal on Jun 13, 2011 2:01 PM PDT up reply actions  

In 71 minutes

What a beast

"I don't mind being the goat. I don't mind being the villain, hated. I've been that my whole career, so it's not like that's anything new. I don't mind people jumping on the bandwagon or jumping off. I just focus on playing the game." -Ron Artest

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Confucius

by Hdg23 on Jun 13, 2011 8:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

LOLWUT, you don't know 38YOTR?!

Kids today.

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates
Yes, I'm smug, withholding, and judgmental, but at least I'm better than you. - Anonymous
Tweetness

by SoCalGal on Jun 13, 2011 2:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

Does he even get a grade? Dude was just a spectator in uniform.

"I don't want to be the next Michael Jordan, I only want to be
Kobe Bryant"

-Kobe Bryant

by waltbabyluv on Jun 13, 2011 2:28 PM PDT reply actions  

Manhood

Don’t you love the chase? Sometimes it doesn’t work out; those are the stakes. But when it does work out, it’s like having that first cigarette: your head gets all dizzy, your heart pounds, your knees go weak. Remember that?

Follow me on Twitter and I'll follow you too. LOL.
http://twitter.com/domidomdomz

by domz on Jun 13, 2011 6:59 PM PDT reply actions  

Minerals.

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates
Yes, I'm smug, withholding, and judgmental, but at least I'm better than you. - Anonymous
Tweetness

by SoCalGal on Jun 13, 2011 7:02 PM PDT up reply actions  

Adjutant: Not enough minerals

Mine more minerals.

"He faked him into the popcorn machine...
he's got salt and butter all over him"
-Chick Hearn

Asked if he took any pain medication at halftime, Bryant said his medicine is called "tough as (expletive.) That’s the medicine I’m on."

by airdawg818 on Jun 13, 2011 10:24 PM PDT reply actions  

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