Shocking news tonight in the run-up to the first-round playoff series between the Lakers and Hornets. Internet website Hornets247.com has announced a viewing party for Game One on Sunday, to be held at The Doors Pizza in New Orleans. The party even has its own page on The Face Books. It all sounds like a wholesome good time until you read the fine print, whereupon you encounter this outrageous disclaimer:
If you are wearing Lakers gear and/or cheering for the Lakers, you will not have access to the free beer.
OH I WON'T, WON'T I. Excuse me for pointing this out, but I believe denying free beer on the basis of team affiliation is a gross violation of the Equal Protection Clause and public policy in the State of Louisiana, which mandates that alcohol be distributed indiscriminately at all times.
I'm drafting a strongly worded cease-and-desist letter, but if you're in New Orleans on Sunday, I encourage you to attend this so-called "party" and demand the beer to which you're entitled. You'll be joining a proud tradition of civil disobedience that stretches all the way back to Mohandas Gandhi and that half-naked woman who tried to storm the court at Staples Center a few weeks back.
After the jump: a new low in homemade Laker rap videos.
Rule number one: if you're making a DIY rap video, take 10 minutes to memorize the lyrics so you can actually look into the camera as you're performing. Having to read from a piece of paper off-camera is rookie crap.
Rule number two: be way better at rapping than that guy.
Follow Dex on Twitter @dexterfishmore.