If The Lakers lived in a D & D World

In homage to the recent Mike Brown article in SI and his love of gaming.

To relieve anxiety about losing CP3, not getting Howard (yet), losing LO for food stamps and appeasing my inner (real) geek, I thought I'd open up the hidden fantasy realm where the mythical, powerful nation of Lakerdom rules, despite relentless attacks and wicked intrigues constantly directed against them.

The kingdom of Lakerdom has been blessed with the greatest of hero's and has ruled over the ages with honor and grace. Who can forget the legends of;

Magic--Grand Wizard---level-MAX

Possibly the greatest hero of them all, who by otherworldly power, slight of hand and leadership beyond imagination led Lakerdom to it's greatest heights. Special Power= The ability to accomplish any feat as needed by those who depended on him and inspiring others to greatness with a magical smile.

The Captain-- Elf High Druid---level-MAX

A being of immense presence and graceful strength, The Captain, lead by deed not word, and his accomplishments are of legend as his 6 magical rings can attest. Special Power= An unstoppable weapon that was utilized relentlessly to prevail against all enemies. To this day, it has not been found or duplicated.

ShaqDaddy--Half-Ogre Warrior--level-45

A hero of immense proportion and devastating prowess. He helped lead Lakerdom to a restoration of greatness after a brief fall into darkness. Sadly, he fell to manipulation and vanity and left the great realm. However his deeds are still fondly recalled in taverns across the land. Strangely, he has retired from the pursuit of glory to become a jester. Special Power= To become an unstoppable juggernaut, crushing all opposition.

These and so many other hero's of lore have graced the gilded halls of Lakerdom.

Now, however, It has entered into a period of great peril, as it's many foes seek to undermine and despoil it's rightful power and stewardship over the land. Yet, do not despair, well-met friends, as the current pantheon of hero's have much to say about the future of the realm, led by;

The Black Mamba--Dark Elf Ranger--level-MAX

Often misunderstood. Due to his nature and prowess, has faced, unnecessary adversity and criticism. Yet his power and skill, wielded with relentless focus, has lead this legend to a greatness, possibly never seen in this realm or any other. A hero who can lead others as well as single-handedly destroy evil, The Mamba still has much to say about the future of this land. Special Power= The ability to take seemingly imminent loss and defeat and miraculously turn it into glorious victory within seconds.

D Fish--Dwarf Cleric-level 18

The aged wonder, D Fish, has been a stalwart companion to The Mamba over the years, though sadly has not held on to his physical prowess as well. Nevertheless, his healing calm, steadfast toughness and sure leadership still serve the land and his past heroics still stir the soul. Special Power= Same as The Mamba, just not as often.

The Spaniard--Paladin--level 30

A hero from a far off land, who's skill's are varied and powerful. Enemies and his own weakness' have, at times, weakened his faith and abilities, yet he can be restored to the rare air of greatness with a passed test of will. Special Power= Can increase any ability to unmatched levels with a willpower check.

Drew--Barbarian--level 25

A young, in-experienced warrior, Drew, has potential to match some of the most renown accomplishments of Laker hero's of yore if he can only focus his unbridled power and battlerage into a consistent presence on the field of honor. Has shown, despite great strength, a propensity to fall early in battle. Special Power=Can become an indomitable force, adding to the defense of all his allies.

WorldMettaPeace--Orc Beserker--level 23

A former evil aligned, unstable beserker, WMP has since changed his alignment to good since entering Lakerdom. Sadly his skill set has eroded, and he no longer strikes crazed fear in the foes of all that is right. Time will tell whether a last run to valor is in store. Special Power= Had the ability to nullify any opposition's favored weapon. Rarely able to call upon this skill now.

Barnes--Elf Thief--level 16

Has the qualities of a charming rogue and potential to assist the great hero's he is allied with. Whether he will attain greater heights or fall by the way remains to be seen. No special power.

Blake--Archer--level 12

An archer of some re-known before entering Lakerdom, Blake has found the immense presence and weighty responsibility of being a part of this Laker fellowship to be more than he can handle. Time will reveal whether he can rise up to levels needed to prevail in the epic quest ahead.

Our foes are many and strong. Foes such as the hated Green Trolls of Boston, difficult and powerful enemies. The chaos warriors of Miami, beings of great and horrible magics. The devious goblin merchants of Dallas, who have lured a favored knight to their dark purposes. The aged Dreadknights of San Antonio. The whispers of rising opposition in Chicago, New York and even the formerly quite neighbors of Clipperland. And most heinous of all, the evil gnome warlord/mage The Stern, who's gangrenous manipulations threaten all that is righteous in Lakerdom and the entire world.

It is now a call to arms. Let slip the dogs of war. Lakers love the smell of napalm in the morning. With great power comes great responsibility. May the force be with us. Fight on! Etc, Etc.

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