Ladies and gentlemen, I've done it. My literally minutes-long search for the greatest Lakers-themed customized motorcycle paint job has reached its triumphant conclusion. In fact, I do believe I've found the Sistine Chapel of Lakers-themed customized motorcycle paint jobs.
Sit back, press play, and enjoy the happiest moment of your life.
When the clip begins, you think you're in for just an everyday purple-and-gold color theme. Nothing too earth-rocking. But then you see purple wheel spokes shaped like the Larry O'Brien trophy... and a seat that appears to have been crafted from an actual Spaulding basketball... and the NBA logo on the rear fender - and you realize, OK, these guys are serious. Then at the 1:15 mark, bliggity blam! There's Chick and his microphone, with "SLAM DUNK!" scrawled underneath his visage. And you realize that resistance is futile.
Oh, and did you think you were getting through this video without a miniature rim, net, basketball and fiberglass backboard festooned with the Lakers' logo? Well, that just shows how much you could learn from the artists at Alley Rat Customs, who clearly ascribe to the philosophy that MORE IS MORE.
On the one hand, people might say this bike is gaudy and tasteless. On the other hand, those people should be punched in the face. Phil Jackson needs to own this mighty hog and ride it out onto the Staples Center floor before every home playoff game.
Follow Dex on Twitter @dexterfishmore.