FanPost

Rough Cut 8/17-- SUPERPWRS!


So I looked through the old fanposts and realized that we have not had one of these in a LONG time (meaning 5 days). Even though I do not comment much on the Rough Cut's, my prime lurking spots are right in those babes. So let's start the ride.

So, Students, the topic for today is SUPERPOWERS (/imagine your choice of dramatic music). Specifically, what superpower would you have if you could have any one. I realize this has all those BORING normal generic ones like Flying, and shit, so I bring to you the sexy new ones:


Waterman:

Sexymaninwater_medium

Type: Earth/ Water

Description: Turn into a sexy man, and control the sea and other bodies of water!  Create giant waves that can crash into your enemy! Drown people without lifting a finger!  Flood bodies of land, and achieve major devastation.

Warning: Contains small parts. Not for children 3 years and younger.

To order, call 1-800 WATERMAN

FREE SHIPPING FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY!

 Landman:

Land_20man_20pic_20001_edited_medium

Type:Earth/ Land

Description: Transform into this old looking gentleman, but looks can be deceiving. Usually in a peaceful and quiet mood, but you can erupt in burst of anger at agitation. Cause massive earthquakes, and kill many. Control the souls of any animal or, plant that you see, and use them as your minions for attack!

Warning: Contains small parts. Not for children 3 years and younger.

To order, call 1-800 LANDMAN

(shipping and handling fees of $19.95 may apply)

 

Skyman:

Global-common-330x240-flying-man_medium

Type: Air

Description: This is a great transformer that people who like thrills, and heights will enjoy. This package is equipped with tons of features such as obviously, the way to fly, but also how to create massive tornadoes and hurricanes! Included in the package are the flying suit, the DNA altering shot, and an operations manual.

Warning: Contains small parts. Not for children 3 years and younger.

To order, call 1-800 SKYMAN

(shipping and handling fees of $9.95 may apply)

BUT WAIT! Order within the next 25 seconds and we will pay the shipping and handling fees!

Crazyman:

Dan_king_medium

Type: Brain

Description: Are you a naturally crazy person who likes to do crazy things? Well then, you are the perfect fit for the Crazyman. Crazyman has got all of your favorite crazy operations, such as exploding a grenade in a bottle of coke and destroying a major city! That's not all! Crazyman is also smart too! You can program yourself in Crazyman form to do any crazy stunt, trick, or operation! Possibilities are endless with Crazyman, so buy now!

Warning:Contains small parts. Not for children 3 years and younger.

To order, call 1-800 CRAZYMAN

Kobe Bryant:

Kobe-bryant-slam-dunk-wallpaper2_medium

Type: Land/Air/Brain

Description: Take this DNA alerting shot and immediately you will feel a great sense of legacy, and a revengeful, cold blooded assassin attitude. You move with grace, speed, and agility. Nicknamed the Black Mamba, you will strike like  a snake that has starved for too long. You train, train, and train and you have come as close to perfection as anyone has and ever will.

Warning:Contains small parts. Not for children 3 years and younger.

To order, call 1-800 KOBEBRYANT

Old Spice Man:


Type: Whatever the Ladies Need


You want to be wet like waterman, he can arrange that. You wanna purr like a kitten, he can arrange that. He has that thing you love, wait look again that thing is now DIAMONDS!!! He’ll create a hurricane of passion, a tsunami of pleasure, or an earthquake guaranteed to rock your world.

Warning: There are no small parts available with this item.

To order, just whistle his tune and he’ll be there on a horse

Backwards

Men: Old Spice Man is not responsible for making you feel inferior, unwanted, or all around minuscule by comparison. Be a man and he won’t have to be there.

Lebron James:

Type: Land/Air

Description: Transform into this ego maniacal gentleman, with the ability to speak about yourself in third person! You will feel a great sense of arrogance and false greatness. Nicknamed the King, you now have the ability to hold 1 hour-specials on TV to make big decisions! You excel when nothing is at stake, but in crunch time, you will just quit on your team, and not win any championships.

Warning: Contains small brain. Not for children 3 years and younger.

To order, call 1-800-LEBRONJAMES

If you wish to order anything in a female form, please contact us.

Copyright, Smart Industries.

Mr. Interesting:

 

Type: Awesomeness

Description: He can call a foul on the ref. He can use the instant replay at the beginning of every quarter. He can make the 24 second shot clock last 57 seconds. He can make Phil run the square offense. He can criticize the refs and fine David Stern. Favorite phrase: I don't always celebrate, but when I do, it's always because of Laker Championships.

Name: AMMO

Type: God

Description: It’s all in the ’stache.

Warning: DO NOT MAKE OF THE ‘STACHE OR YOU WILL FACE AMMO’s WRATH!!!

To order You do not order AMMO. AMMO orders you.

---PLEASE REC TO KEEP AT THE TOP!----

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