EA Sports Is Cutting Corners on the New NBA Jam
by DexterFishmore on Jul 29, 2010 1:49 PM PDT
in LOL WUT
86 comments
Behold, earthlings! A screen grab from EA Sports' reboot of NBA Jam, courtesy of the handsome cads over at NintendoLife. As luck would have it, they chose to show us a grab featuring a certain Mr. Kobe Bryant, about whom we know a thing or two around here. Let's assess the realism of the image with a little pro-con, shall we?
Pro: The Staples Center court looks like the Staples Center court.
Con: Whatevs. For years now basketball video games have rendered the Staples court pretty convincingly. That's nothing new.
Pro: Kobe looks great. Nearly lifelike.
Con: The Laker Girls are in red and white, for some reason.
Pro: One of the guys on the bench looks like Derek Fisher, which is exactly where he'd be if you had to pick a couple Lakers to play some two-on-two.
Con: Who the hell are the other dudes on the bench? I don't recognize any of them.
Pro: Phil Jackson looks about right.
Con: No he doesn't. When's the last time you saw Phil stand in a game?
Pro: Kevin Garnett is trailing the play so badly, he's not even in the shot.
Con: Yes, that's accurate. Kevin Garnett is old and slow and not good at basketball.
Pro: You're supposed to disagree with me. That's the whole point of this little Hegelian dialectic.
Con: Sorry. Let's get back to it.
Pro: Um. I guess that Adidas ad looks realistic.
Con: Yeah, but if they were really paying attention, they'd have used an ad for San Manuel Indian Bingo and Casino.
Pro: I'm running out of good things to say about this.
Con: Not surprised. It looks like they were content to get just a few details right and hope no one would notice the rest.
Pro: I know, right? Like, they have the Laker bench on the wrong side of the court.
Con: Where Jack usually sits!
Pro: That's disrespectful.
Con: And why do Kobe and Pau Gasol seem to be playing two-on-one against KG?
Pro: Iunno. Maybe Paul Pierce ran out of lives?
Con: I don't think you can run out of lives on NBA Jam.
Pro: Got it. So would you buy this game?
Con: I'm usually a sucker for nostalgic crap like this, but it seems they're only making it for the Wii, which is played by 8-year-olds and middle aged people intimidated by normal video game controllers.
Pro: Right. And since we're neither of these, I guess we won't be buying NBA Jam.
Con: Let's hold out for the long-awaited sequel to Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City.
Pro: Good idea. Hey, did you hear that the Knicks have made a contract offer to Shannon Brown?
Con: That doesn't have anything to do with video games.
Pro: No, but the news hit while you and I were chatting, and if we don't shoehorn it awkwardly into this post, we'll have to do an entirely new one.
Con: Ack! I'll allow it, then.
Pro: Can you imagine Shannon Brown in NBA Jam?
Con: That would be sweet. Also, great job on your part tying this all together.
Pro: Thanks! Your feedback means a lot to me.
Con: K BAI.
Follow Dex on Twitter here.
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Pro: Um. I guess that Adidas ad looks realistic.
Con: Yeah, but if they were really paying attention, they’d have used an ad for San Manuel Indian Bingo and Casino.
Adam Morrison has more rings than Lebron, Bosh, and Wade combined?
Whew, I was missing my daily Dex fix. Thank you!
Con: Yeah, but if they were really paying attention, they’d have used an ad for San Manuel Indian Bingo and Casino.
It’s funny ‘cuz it’s true!
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
This things only coming out for Wii right?
I know my grandma’s retirement home has a Wii and so does the nerdy tween down the block, hopefully one of them will pick it up.
"Attitude reflect leadership, captain" - Big Jules
Hey, I am neither a nerdy tween nor a grandma, but I gots me a Wii.
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
do they have knitting games for the wii?
technology is so amazing
by lakers are trouble on Jul 30, 2010 8:31 AM PDT up reply actions
i think they could probably do it.
you would probably need to use 2 wii remotes to act as the knitting sticks. and then you can press a button to give you more string? or thread? wth do they knit with? LOL
by lakers are trouble on Jul 30, 2010 8:43 AM PDT up reply actions
LOL, you're terrible at this.
They’re called knitting needles and the “string” or “thread” is called yarn. You can also knit with ribbon, suede (of a sort) and a whole bunch of other stuff.
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
yea i don't know anyone who knits.
when i think of knitting, i see a woman rubbing the end of 2 sticks together with string on it and it magically comes out as a sweater.
by lakers are trouble on Jul 30, 2010 9:08 AM PDT up reply actions
What's more amazing to me is when they do it with one stick.
by JustRuntheOffense on Jul 30, 2010 11:55 PM PDT up reply actions
Con: I’m usually a sucker for nostalgic crap like this, but it seems they’re only making it for the Wii, which is played by 8-year-olds and middle aged people intimidated by normal video game controllers.
Burn.
To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.
by Ben R on Jul 29, 2010 2:07 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
con
I haven’t played a video game in years so I’ll be passing on this sort of lifelike game and Shannon hopefully will not accept that contract
There are basic Fundamentals that are needed to move forward in this game. Always keep your guard up at all times to avoid being caught in a trap. Overcome the fouls that will be committed against you REBOUND AND PRESS ON. ADJUST to the Limelight: ALL-STAR PLAYERS ARE ALWAYS THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. Know what your role is and play your position. Find a game plan and execute it. REMEMBER YOU ONLY GET OUT OF THE GAME WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT.
Eddie House to the Heat
Free agent guard Eddie House has agreed to a two-year contract with the Miami Heat, agent Mark Bartelstein confirmed Thursday.
House was one of the best shooters remaining on the free agent market and had received more lucrative offers from other teams.
But the chance to play a key role in the Heat’s rotation and compete for a championship alongside Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh was too much to turn down.
House will receive about $2.8 million over two seasons, which is the veterans’ exception. There is a player option in the second season.
Adam Morrison has more rings than Lebron, Bosh, and Wade combined?
so miami depth chart looks something like this now?
PG: Chalmers / Arroyo / House
SG: Wade / House / Miller
SF: LeBron / Miller / Jones
PF: Bosh / Haslem / Howard / Randolph
C: Anthony / Z / Magloire / Pittman
3peat.
why people want to join this team is beyond me.
In Soviet Russia, LA beats you.
by malmario on Jul 29, 2010 3:26 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
did they really sign 15 players?
"I work my ass off every day in practice. How many other guys can say the same thing? Not many. I'm fighting against becoming soft. That's the worse thing you can say to a basketball player." - Dennis Rodman
"When life slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry walls." - Aldous Snow
i dont think pittman is signed yet?
so possibly 14. not sure though.
"I work my ass off every day in practice. How many other guys can say the same thing? Not many. I'm fighting against becoming soft. That's the worse thing you can say to a basketball player." - Dennis Rodman
"When life slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry walls." - Aldous Snow
no Pittman is signed
believe me, I cried. I lost Avery Bradley to the Celtics and now Sexy Dexy (not you, Dex sorry…Pittman’s first name is Dexter too)
oh wow
oh wow
the only weakness may be center cause anthony is small and a DJ mbenga clone and Z is old and magloire aint an NBA player anymore and pitmans a rookie
**** the only weakness may be anybody but the big three blind mice
"I work my ass off every day in practice. How many other guys can say the same thing? Not many. I'm fighting against becoming soft. That's the worse thing you can say to a basketball player." - Dennis Rodman
"When life slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry walls." - Aldous Snow
yeah mike miller udonis haslem
james jones and eddie houses 3 pointers… Zs shooting.. very weak
their bench is going to suck, along with their center position.
"I work my ass off every day in practice. How many other guys can say the same thing? Not many. I'm fighting against becoming soft. That's the worse thing you can say to a basketball player." - Dennis Rodman
"When life slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry walls." - Aldous Snow
Saying Center "may" be a weakness for the Heat
is like saying the bubonic plague “might” have been contagious.
And point guard isn’t exactly a strength either.
Don’t get me wrong, the Heat have a roster with much more talent outside the big three than I expected them to have, and are certainly a threat if things go right, but they are counting on the advantages at 2, 3, and 4 to outweigh the disadvantages at the 1 and 5.
I don't think the Heat match up well with the Celtics or Magic. Maybe even the Bulls.
That bench can’t defense if they’re life depended on it.
I believe they also signed Hansbrouck
not sure with the spelling though.
Don’t you love the chase? Sometimes it doesn’t work out; those are the stakes. But when it does work out, it’s like having that first cigarette: your head gets all dizzy, your heart pounds, your knees go weak. Remember that?
I'm gettting fucking scared of this team.
It's Kobe's world, but Lebron's just living in it. -- Czheck
Lol I no longer play video games, and this game certainly does not want to make me start. I don’t understand why people by sports games each year, its the same thing each year only the stats of the players change lol
We're constantly searching for the edition
That finally does it “right.” Which is probably why each iteration only inches a few steps through the endless field of mediocrity.
To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.
I wish
Shaq would sign a deal with the Kings just to piss everybody off.
Adam Morrison has more rings than Lebron, Bosh, and Wade combined?
Adam Morrison has more rings than Lebron, Bosh, and Wade combined?
by shaqfor3 on Jul 29, 2010 2:46 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
speaking of video games
did anyone see this yesterday?
Adam Morrison has more rings than Lebron, Bosh, and Wade combined?
imagine having all those game systems
crazy.
Adam Morrison has more rings than Lebron, Bosh, and Wade combined?
There's foam fingers in the crowds...
me not like…
Formerly known as "akb24b"
"If you have a debate with a scholar, you can win. If you have a debate with an ignorant person, you will definitely lose."
"Lets go for for it again"- Kobe Bryant, 2010 Championship ceremony.
"The NBA Apocalypse has occurred, and it's our fault."- C.A. Clark
those are some wacky graphics right there.
kobe, phil, the laker girls, they all look a bit off…
i wonder if shannon will actually take that contract though. he’d probably fit with d’antoni’s offense way better than he ever fit in the triangle. but if we really are trading sasha, he’ll be back.
3peat.
What about the signs in the crowd?
another thing a bit off
"Lebron has the ball, dribbles down the court, splitting the Lakers defenders with 5 seconds left on the clock with the game on the line in the 2011 NBA Finals Game 7! Lebron pulls up from deep, in Kobe's face and drains the three pointer! HEAT WIN HEAT WIN!!! 89-88!!!!!
...BEEP BEEP BEEP...BEEP BEEP BEEP...
Then Lebron's alarm goes off and he wakes up and goes downstairs to eat a delicious breakfast made by his mom and Delonte West."
and, and, and...
Kobe’s got his own sized body but a head the size of Shaq’s!!! AND, he’s got his ASS above the rim???!!! Even UPS can’t hop that high…all the cheerleaders and some of the spectators are looking at us, the observers, rather than gawking at Kobe completely flying above the rim…and the TV dudes…two of them are identical, while the other two have their dopplegangers just behind them and to the left…
"Lebron has the ball, dribbles down the court, splitting the Lakers defenders with 5 seconds left on the clock with the game on the line in the 2011 NBA Finals Game 7! Lebron pulls up from deep, in Kobe's face and drains the three pointer! HEAT WIN HEAT WIN!!! 89-88!!!!!
...BEEP BEEP BEEP...BEEP BEEP BEEP...
Then Lebron's alarm goes off and he wakes up and goes downstairs to eat a delicious breakfast made by his mom and Delonte West."
and, yes, I am anal enough to point out a typo if I found one…but they have frustrated me on that point…damn it…
"Lebron has the ball, dribbles down the court, splitting the Lakers defenders with 5 seconds left on the clock with the game on the line in the 2011 NBA Finals Game 7! Lebron pulls up from deep, in Kobe's face and drains the three pointer! HEAT WIN HEAT WIN!!! 89-88!!!!!
...BEEP BEEP BEEP...BEEP BEEP BEEP...
Then Lebron's alarm goes off and he wakes up and goes downstairs to eat a delicious breakfast made by his mom and Delonte West."
Dude, now you're talking to yourself like all these other cats.
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
I don’t mind if you don’t
"Lebron has the ball, dribbles down the court, splitting the Lakers defenders with 5 seconds left on the clock with the game on the line in the 2011 NBA Finals Game 7! Lebron pulls up from deep, in Kobe's face and drains the three pointer! HEAT WIN HEAT WIN!!! 89-88!!!!!
...BEEP BEEP BEEP...BEEP BEEP BEEP...
Then Lebron's alarm goes off and he wakes up and goes downstairs to eat a delicious breakfast made by his mom and Delonte West."
by bigdeal1188 on Jul 29, 2010 11:59 PM PDT up reply actions
LOL at your sig
There are basic Fundamentals that are needed to move forward in this game. Always keep your guard up at all times to avoid being caught in a trap. Overcome the fouls that will be committed against you REBOUND AND PRESS ON. ADJUST to the Limelight: ALL-STAR PLAYERS ARE ALWAYS THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. Know what your role is and play your position. Find a game plan and execute it. REMEMBER YOU ONLY GET OUT OF THE GAME WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT.
thanks...
it’s not like I’m overly creative…I saw it on another thread in SSR and promptly stole it! And I mean promptly…
you can haz cheeseburger…I can haz siggy…
"Lebron has the ball, dribbles down the court, splitting the Lakers defenders with 5 seconds left on the clock with the game on the line in the 2011 NBA Finals Game 7! Lebron pulls up from deep, in Kobe's face and drains the three pointer! HEAT WIN HEAT WIN!!! 89-88!!!!!
...BEEP BEEP BEEP...BEEP BEEP BEEP...
Then Lebron's alarm goes off and he wakes up and goes downstairs to eat a delicious breakfast made by his mom and Delonte West."
by bigdeal1188 on Jul 30, 2010 12:02 AM PDT up reply actions
see socalgal
I can too talk to someone else…
"Lebron has the ball, dribbles down the court, splitting the Lakers defenders with 5 seconds left on the clock with the game on the line in the 2011 NBA Finals Game 7! Lebron pulls up from deep, in Kobe's face and drains the three pointer! HEAT WIN HEAT WIN!!! 89-88!!!!!
...BEEP BEEP BEEP...BEEP BEEP BEEP...
Then Lebron's alarm goes off and he wakes up and goes downstairs to eat a delicious breakfast made by his mom and Delonte West."
by bigdeal1188 on Jul 30, 2010 12:02 AM PDT up reply actions
+1 for mentioning Hegel.
props.
I don’t have a problem saying, ‘Your franchise player sucks.’ - Ron Artest
LEBRON IS SO FUNNY
Congrats to Eddie House. Welcome to Team “John Dillinger”. Happy to have u
for those who don’t know, john dillinger was a bank robber in the early 1930s…
3peat.
Was he really?
Hot damn, you learn something new every day.
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
yes you do because I was clueless
I thought he was dissing John Hollinger
There are basic Fundamentals that are needed to move forward in this game. Always keep your guard up at all times to avoid being caught in a trap. Overcome the fouls that will be committed against you REBOUND AND PRESS ON. ADJUST to the Limelight: ALL-STAR PLAYERS ARE ALWAYS THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. Know what your role is and play your position. Find a game plan and execute it. REMEMBER YOU ONLY GET OUT OF THE GAME WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT.
they made a move about him , Johnny Depp plays the role
Public Enemies is the title , i think
"Better learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's gonna fall out."- Kobe Bryant to JR Smith,who was talking trash, after dropping 49pts,10assits on the Nuggets in Game 2 of the '08 First round playoffs
[hands socalgal several rags to wipe up the sarcasm dripping from her last 2 posts]
"Lebron has the ball, dribbles down the court, splitting the Lakers defenders with 5 seconds left on the clock with the game on the line in the 2011 NBA Finals Game 7! Lebron pulls up from deep, in Kobe's face and drains the three pointer! HEAT WIN HEAT WIN!!! 89-88!!!!!
...BEEP BEEP BEEP...BEEP BEEP BEEP...
Then Lebron's alarm goes off and he wakes up and goes downstairs to eat a delicious breakfast made by his mom and Delonte West."
by bigdeal1188 on Jul 30, 2010 12:04 AM PDT up reply actions
just discovered alt symbols
miñd = blöwñ ®™‡
"I wanted to do what was best for LeBron James, and what LeBron James is going to do to make him happy."- Lebron James
almost like posting in Wingdings
"Lebron has the ball, dribbles down the court, splitting the Lakers defenders with 5 seconds left on the clock with the game on the line in the 2011 NBA Finals Game 7! Lebron pulls up from deep, in Kobe's face and drains the three pointer! HEAT WIN HEAT WIN!!! 89-88!!!!!
...BEEP BEEP BEEP...BEEP BEEP BEEP...
Then Lebron's alarm goes off and he wakes up and goes downstairs to eat a delicious breakfast made by his mom and Delonte West."
by bigdeal1188 on Jul 30, 2010 12:07 AM PDT up reply actions
So true
Con: No he doesn’t. When’s the last time you saw Phil stand in a game?
totally!
"These young guys are playing checkers. I'm out there playing chess."
- Kobe Bryant
Can't believe anyone hasn't talked about that michael jordan video game
That game can’t possibly be real it looks ridiculous…
"I don't mind being the goat. I don't mind being the villain, hated. I've been that my whole career, so it's not like that's anything new. I don't mind people jumping on the bandwagon or jumping off. I just focus on playing the game." -Ron Artest
kobe bryant's nba courtside will
never be better than michael jordan: chaos in the windy city.
"I wanted to do what was best for LeBron James, and what LeBron James is going to do to make him happy."- Lebron James
that came was totally real
and totally awesome.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
My favorite part is the music
Twitter feed: @dexterfishmore
by DexterFishmore on Jul 29, 2010 8:21 PM PDT up reply actions
seriously
having to spend 40-50 bucks on absolute crap, when you only make $12 an hour was enough to kill the video game buzz for me…
"Lebron has the ball, dribbles down the court, splitting the Lakers defenders with 5 seconds left on the clock with the game on the line in the 2011 NBA Finals Game 7! Lebron pulls up from deep, in Kobe's face and drains the three pointer! HEAT WIN HEAT WIN!!! 89-88!!!!!
...BEEP BEEP BEEP...BEEP BEEP BEEP...
Then Lebron's alarm goes off and he wakes up and goes downstairs to eat a delicious breakfast made by his mom and Delonte West."
by bigdeal1188 on Jul 30, 2010 12:09 AM PDT up reply actions
not when u can rent 'em
i have my video game moments so i just run to block buster rent a game, beat it in 2-3 days and return it… $8 well spent
They spelled KG's name wrong
It’s not Garnett; its Gar
It's Kobe's world, but Lebron's just living in it. -- Czheck
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