Food at Laker Games Will Probably Not Kill You
by DexterFishmore on Jul 27, 2010 1:54 PM PDT
in News
75 comments
Eating at professional sporting events is a terrifying journey into the unknown. The ingredients used are of questionable provenance, the preparation equipment often appears to have been requisitioned from local freshman dorm rooms, and the employees charged with getting the cuisine from the heat lamp to your waiting hands don't usually look 100% committed to their current career paths. That's why beer is made available: to overcome these very rational concerns you may have about ingesting concession-stand grub and persuade you to part with cash monies in return for salt-festooned snack treats.
That, and so people have something to throw at Ron Artest.
The best stadium food will have enough sauce and cheese to mask the shocking amounts of grease that are entering your system. The worst will roil your digestive tract and instantly knock a year or two off your actuarial life expectancy. I used to live in NYC, where my buddies and I would attend a dozen or so Knicks games every year. I still remember the first of these games I attended, at which I made the mistake of ordering MSG's signature menu item, the "Garden Dog." Or as I now refer to it: The Thing That Should Not Be. That was five years ago, and the stench has still not left my nasal passages. If you told me Garden Dogs are made using the ground-up carcasses of hobos kidnapped from Penn Station, I wouldn't doubt you for a second.
Not all stadium eats are equally disgusting, of course. This week, ESPN's Outside the Lines published their review of the food-prep conditions at 107 baseball, football, hoops and hockey facilities across the country in an attempt to discern which teams' grub is the most vermin-riddled. Quantification takes the form of the percentage of vendors who've been cited for violations by health inspectors.
The good news? Staples Center, home of the Lakers and Clippers, is one of the least revolting arenas in the NBA. Only 11% of vendors there have been dinged for violations, which represents an admirable commitment on the part of our teams to the concept of not killing off their own customers. So next time you're at Staples and it's halftime of a Laker game, go ahead and dial up that BBQ beef sandwich. Odds are, there's not enough cockroach bodily waste in there to alarm the local sanitation watchdogs.
A complete summary of the vendor inspection reports can be found here. More than anything, what it makes clear is that inspection standards vary wildly from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. For instance, all three Denver facilities have an over 60% violation rate, which tells me that Colorado health inspectors are really, really zealous about their jobs. At three bars at Invesco Field, they complain, "inspectors found fruit flies in bottles of whiskey." That's a problem how? I'm not saying it's ideal, but it's not like that would stop me from drinking the whiskey.
And check out the results from Chicago: United Center - 0% violations.... U.S. Cellular Field - 0% violations.... Wrigley Field - 0% violations. Umm, OK. I'm not suggesting that local teams are bribing inspectors in the grand tradition of Chicago municipal corruption, but... wait. Yes. Yes, I am suggesting that. If you ever eat a hot dog at a Bulls, White Sox or Cubs game, consider it a miracle if you make it out alive.
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to overcome these very rational concerns you may have about ingesting concession-stand grub and persuade you to part withcash moniesyour children and grandchildren in return for salt-festooned snack treats.
I gotta say that doesn’t even look good, but I want some. At least it means the season will have started.
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
It's a good thing I never buy anything when I go.
ARCO Arena
Sacramento Kings
Vendors with critical violations: 25%
Inspection report excerpt: Inspectors found some shrimp pasta salad at 52 degrees, which was too warm.
Sweet 16
Not for the shrimp. They were still alive.
Inspection report excerpt: Inspectors found some shrimp pasta salad at 52 degrees, which was too warm.
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
Ewww.
Now I’m most definitely staying away from all the food. Time to bring some granola bars.
Sweet 16
whenever i go to arco..
nachos and beer. and then more beer.
by lakers are trouble on Jul 28, 2010 8:56 AM PDT up reply actions
The sushi is gross anyways
Staples Center
Los Angeles Clippers, Los Angeles Lakers, Los Angeles Kings
Vendors with critical violations: 11%
Inspection report excerpt: One stand dumped 9.5 pounds of sushi after inspectors found that it become too warm.
To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.
Well, I love seafood and especially sushi
But concession stand sushi is among the least appetizing things ever.
To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.
it is ...
"Better learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's gonna fall out."- Kobe Bryant to JR Smith,who was talking trash, after dropping 49pts,10assits on the Nuggets in Game 2 of the '08 First round playoffs
Clippers fan is happy right now.
The sushi stands are closed for Clips games.
http://twitter.com/wondahbap
I LOL'd hard.
I used to live in NYC, where my buddies and I would attend a dozen or so Knicks games every year. I still remember the first of these games I attended, at which I made the mistake of ordering MSG’s signature menu item, the “Garden Dog.” Or as I now refer to it: The Thing That Should Not Be. That was five years ago, and the stench has still not left my nasal passages.
Sweet 16
I did too. I've thought this for a while, but now I'm convinced:
Dexter Fishmore is insane. And funny. Therefore insanely funny.
Love ya, Dex!
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
LOL, I couldn't possibly forget that.
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
Now we know why no one goes to Heat games
American Airlines Arena
Miami Heat
Vendors with critical violations: 93%
Inspection report excerpt: Critical violations included several safety issues related to electrical wiring and such equipment as gas boilers.
They’re afraid of dying in a massive fire.
To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.
How ironic that you could burn to death at a Heat game.
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
The a-hole in me had to say....
…coincidence, not irony.
You're right, about both statements.
Kidding!
But coincidence is right.
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
Oh, Chicago
United Center
Chicago Bulls, Chicago Blackhawks
Vendors with critical violations: 0%
Inspection report excerpt: No critical or major violations. Chicago health inspectors inspect vendors while the stadiums are empty, when no workers are preparing or serving food.
U.S. Cellular Field
Chicago White Sox
Vendors with critical violations: 0%
Inspection report excerpt: No critical or major violations. Chicago health inspectors inspect vendors while the stadiums are empty, when no workers are preparing or serving food.
Wrigley Field
Chicago Cubs
Vendors with critical violations: 0%
Inspection report excerpt: No critical or major violations. Chicago health inspectors inspect vendors while the stadiums are empty, when no workers are preparing or serving food.
When no one is serving food…
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.
This report is the gift that keeps on giving
Heinz Field
Pittsburgh Steelers
Vendors with critical violations: 61%
Inspection report excerpt: Inspectors found employees lacking in overall food-safety knowledge after observing one worker washing his hands with his gloves on. Another location had a gallon of milk that had expired 10 days prior.
To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.
This is why I NEVER drink milk away from home. DIS-GUST-ING!!!
Another location had a gallon of milk that had expired 10 days prior.
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
i thought those dates were only for "best before"
so technically it’s suppose to be still good but not as good? as long as it’s not lumpy i always say.
by lakers are trouble on Jul 28, 2010 9:02 AM PDT up reply actions
10 days past the sell date is bad, lumpy or not. It's on its way to yogurt.
Foul-smelling yogurt at that.
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
LOL, I had strawberry Yoplait for breakfast this morning.
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
LOL, who told you th...
…oh, you mean my yogurt. Well, I like the fruit, but the yogurt is smooth.
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
lmao
"Better learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's gonna fall out."- Kobe Bryant to JR Smith,who was talking trash, after dropping 49pts,10assits on the Nuggets in Game 2 of the '08 First round playoffs
Getting food at NBA games is pointless
The ticket prices send you back enough. Then you end up missing some of the game because of the ridiculous food lines. I go to watch the basketball. Not to stuff my face.
Born purple and gold. Live purple and gold. Die purple and gold.
boy howdy...
went to an Angel’s game in 1999 and went for dogs and beer…got to the line and there were 10 people in front of me…no problemo, I think…I MISSED AN INNING AND A HALF!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Lebron has the ball, dribbles down the court, splitting the Lakers defenders with 5 seconds left on the clock with the game on the line in the 2011 NBA Finals Game 7! Lebron pulls up from deep, in Kobe's face and drains the three pointer! HEAT WIN HEAT WIN!!! 89-88!!!!!
...BEEP BEEP BEEP...BEEP BEEP BEEP...
Then Lebron's alarm goes off and he wakes up and goes downstairs to eat a delicious breakfast made by his mom and Delonte West."
eheheheheh
speaking of food that will kill you, I had a Tops Chili cheeseburger and fries today for lunch.
oh and last thursday I went to a Dodger game. I heard they have pretty clean facilities/ vendors with very few health code violations.
:)
Adam Morrison has more rings than Lebron, Bosh, and Wade combined?
Does this mean that the safest bet is the over priced beer at Staples?
"That means no more coming into camp fat and out of shape, when your team is relying on your leadership on and off the court. It also means no more blaming others for our team's failure, or blaming staff members for not overdramatizing your injuries so that you avoid blame for your lack of conditioning. " Kobe on Shaq being a leader
damn, the worst stadium in california is oakland, at 34%...
i think i’ll just bring my own food in a lunchbox!!
Formerly known as "akb24b"
"If you have a debate with a scholar, you can win. If you have a debate with an ignorant person, you will definitely lose."
"Lets go for for it again"- Kobe Bryant, 2010 Championship ceremony.
"The NBA Apocalypse has occurred, and it's our fault."- C.A. Clark
just put beef jerky and peanuts in your pocket.
still have to buy the beer though.
by lakers are trouble on Jul 28, 2010 9:04 AM PDT up reply actions
yikes Florida
Sun Life Stadium
Miami Dolphins, Florida Marlins
Vendors with critical violations: 93%Inspection report excerpt: In June 2009, an employee complained anonymously that small insects and other debris were blended into frozen alcoholic beverages at a stand where equipment wasn’t being cleaned. When inspectors checked, they issued a critical violation for a buildup of slime inside the frozen drinks machine.
Tropicana Field
Tampa Bay Rays
Vendors with critical violations: 100%Inspection report excerpt: Several violations addressed dirty countertops, utensils and equipment. Although every report indicated a critical violation, all vendors met basic inspection standards to keep operating.
Adam Morrison has more rings than Lebron, Bosh, and Wade combined?
I thought the Marlins played in Landshark Stadium?
or did they change their name again between this year and last year?
Happy Birthday A-Rod! Now please hit #600 already.
they changed the name
I swear theyve changed the name of that stadium at least 50 times.
Adam Morrison has more rings than Lebron, Bosh, and Wade combined?
YUCK!!! I don't think I'm gonna have dinner to night
buildup of slime inside the frozen drinks
The perfect Dodger game meal....
Beer, Garlic Fries & Dodger Dog. MMMMmmmmmmm……….
"I work my ass off every day in practice. How many other guys can say the same thing? Not many. I'm fighting against becoming soft. That's the worse thing you can say to a basketball player." - Dennis Rodman
"When life slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry walls." - Aldous Snow
awwwwwwwwww yessssssssssssssssssssssssss
garlic fries are the shit. I just wish they didnt cost so much.
Adam Morrison has more rings than Lebron, Bosh, and Wade combined?
And you probably had to drop $25 just for that
Born purple and gold. Live purple and gold. Die purple and gold.
by RA37thriller on Jul 27, 2010 4:26 PM PDT up reply actions
Sorry, but un-grilled Dodger Dogs are weak.
Better to get the beer, the garlic fries, and the pastrami at Canter’s near the 3rd base line.
M
"In this program your passion bucket must be full to play SC." -- CRN, to Dan Patrick, 1/2008
The stadiums I'm at most, Fenway and Gillette
have great ratings. Nice to know.
Remind me to never eat in any arena in North Carolina, nor Florida.
http://twitter.com/wondahbap
Jelly Bean
You can post the link, but I hid the pic. We don’t to offend anyone by the insinuation of the pic.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that…”
http://twitter.com/wondahbap
cool... wont happen again. thnx. : )
"That means no more coming into camp fat and out of shape, when your team is relying on your leadership on and off the court. It also means no more blaming others for our team's failure, or blaming staff members for not overdramatizing your injuries so that you avoid blame for your lack of conditioning. " Kobe on Shaq being a leader
I love food at sports games
Yankee Stadium has some of the best, and most expensive, food you can get at any sports game. I haven’t been to that many Lakers games in my life living in NY. I’m planning on going to one or two next year though.
Good to see that the food is good at Staples.
Happy Birthday A-Rod! Now please hit #600 already.
I can't believe IZOD center is only 20%
I went there for a Jay-Z concert & the place literally stinks & i mean it literally, the damn place actually smalls
What, no discussion about the un-licensed, un-inspected, bacon-wrapped dogs with the grilled onions, bell peppers and jalapenos and ketchup, mustard and mayo?
THAT’S good sports grub.
"In this program your passion bucket must be full to play SC." -- CRN, to Dan Patrick, 1/2008
Is that from the guys selling food around Staples Center after the games?
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
those venders are everywhere
I never buy anything from them cause Ive heard people have gotten seriously sick. Often times they improperly store the various meats.
Adam Morrison has more rings than Lebron, Bosh, and Wade combined?
Been having them outside Staples and the Rose Bowl for years.
Never gotten sick ONCE.
"In this program your passion bucket must be full to play SC." -- CRN, to Dan Patrick, 1/2008
Hmmm. We Filipinos (and other Asians) don't mind street foods. In fact, we love them.
Yup, there might be risk of getting sick (e.g. hepatitis) from them, but, hey, life is full of risk anyway. Risk on this food is (almost) worth it.
Hmmm. Some of you guys might get disgusted by what kind of street foods we eat though. beef/pork/chicken strips, chicken feet, chicken head, chicken skin cracklings, chicken nuggets, intestines, solidified pig’s blood, pig’s tongue, pig’s ears, quail eggs, our famous (or infamous) “”http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balut_(egg)" >balut" (fertilized duck or chicken egg with a nearly-developed embryo inside that is boiled and eaten in the shell), fishball and other seafood, sweet fried bananas, etcetera etcetera. Lots of varieties and options.
Here are some more samples:
And, yes, we also eat them in sports events.
kobe bryant=batman
I could probably eat a lot of that, but would definitely have to take a pass on the chicken ass, chicken head and blood cubes.
"There are no "Kobe Lovers", just people who are right." - Gil Meriken
i haven't tried the chicken ass and head either
…and wary to do so. The blood cubes, though, I did try and like.
kobe bryant=batman
Ghetto Dogs
What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
by remingtonmartin on Jul 27, 2010 8:30 PM PDT up reply actions
I call them Stray Dogs
Unlicensed, unregistered, and they go running when the cops show up.
"In this program your passion bucket must be full to play SC." -- CRN, to Dan Patrick, 1/2008
by Meriones on Jul 27, 2010 11:37 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I was just gonna say...
It’s not the food INSIDE Staples that’s gonna kill you, it’s the hot dogs OUTSIDE staples. But they’re soooooooooooooo good.
mmm, at the pool i work at, there are guys pushing carts filled with ice cream around the gates
they sell it through the fences at times, it’s funny for us guards that are watching
Stu Lantz – For not being Hot Rod Hundley. Grade: A Motherfucking Superplus +.
No thanx
Ok, this article made me lose any appetite i may have had for Sport Vendor Food
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