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Reading the Tea Leaves: Andrew Bynum Wisely Avoiding Memphis

"Memphis ... MEMPHIS?!? AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! RUN!!!  Oh, umm... OUCH! Coach... coach, I'm hurt. I'm hurt, coach. It hurts a lot, and probably won't feel better until Saturday... I mean, if I was gonna take a guess..."

More photos » Pat Sullivan - AP

"Memphis ... MEMPHIS?!? AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! RUN!!! Oh, umm... OUCH! Coach... coach, I'm hurt. I'm hurt, coach. It hurts a lot, and probably won't feel better until Saturday... I mean, if I was gonna take a guess..."

By now, if you didn't watch it happen in person or on TV, you've all heard the news:  On the final Lakers' final offensive play of the fifth game of the year, in overtime, Andrew Bynum took a hard foul and injured his right arm. Collectively, of course, Laker Nation held its breath, and slowly began to lose its mind.

Not me. I know what's going on here.

The good news was that Bynum's arm was functional enough to make one of two free throws for him, effectively winning the game for L.A. The bad news was that after the game, Bynum couldn't use the arm to get dressed.

Of course, by now we have "more information" — or at least, that's what they're calling it — on this so-called injury. While it was originally thought to be a sprained elbow, they are now calling it a strained elbow, and he appears to be day-to-day. The word, passed along by the L.A. Times' Mike Bresnahan (via Twitter), is that an MRI revealed nothing serious, though Bynum won't play for the Lakers on Friday, and may or may not be back on Sunday.

For his part, according to the L.A. Times, Bynum is said to be "relieved that the injury wasn't 'too serious.' He had better range of motion this afternoon after being unable to use his right arm while getting dressed after Wednesday night's game." Lakers fans can breathe a sigh of relief; no big deal.

That's the official story. Of course, I know the truth:  This is all about Memphis.

Star-divide

How many things do you think a 7-foot, 285-lb. man, still young enough to think himself invincible, truly fears? Probably not many, especially when you factor in the financial security of a $12.5 million annual paycheck. But I can tell you one thing that is definitely way up there on Andrew Bynum's List of Terrifying Things That Make Him Scream "AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Like A Little Girl:  Memphis.

That's right, Andrew Bynum is scared of country music.

No, wait... that's not it. Uhh... Memphis. What was it about Memphis? I know there's something about Memphis that just terrifies the kid, but country music just doesn't sound right. Hold on, it'll come to me... OH YEAH! This:

Bynum_medium

That's right, folks. If you recall, in one of the eeriest coinky-dinks in sports, both of Andrew Bynum's serious injuries as a professional athlete have come while sharing the hardwood with the Memphis Grizzlies. The first occurred in January 2008, putting him on the bench for the rest of the season, including the entire playoffs. The second occurred in January 2009, sidelining him for almost the entire remainder of the regular season. Of course, he came back, but not in time to develop a rhythm or be of any significant use to the Lakers.

Of course, you probably noticed one or two other aspects to this super-eerie coincidence, and thankfully, those things won't be at play on Friday night. That's right — not only did both injuries, in successive years, come against the Grizzlies, but they both happened in the month of January, both times IN Memphis, and both times when Bynum was really hitting his stride and becoming a powerhouse in the paint for L.A.

Fortunately, Friday's game will not be in Memphis, and this is not January. Were either of those things the case, I would be starting the petition not to even allow Bynum into the Arena.

(I stand corrected; Bynum's 2008 injury was, in fact, in Los Angeles. Both did happen in January, however. Still, all the more reason for Bynum to avoid Memphis like the plague — regardless of location.)

Speaking of such eerie circumstances, you'll be glad to know that the Lakers' road game against the Grizzlies doesn't take place in January this year. Unfortunately, it takes place on February 1st, so I wouldn't get too comfortable. I'm sure the NBA Injury Demons will be pushing for leniency with regards to the date, which is why I will be sending around a petition to leave Andrew Bynum in Los Angeles for that game.

But for now, be proud of your favorite superstitious young center. He knows what's good for him — or, more to the point, what's horribly bad for him. Which is why, upon realizing that Memphis was next, he did what he had to do to make sure he wouldn't share a court with them.

He got "injured."

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The Credits

Feb 2010 by wondahbap - 3 comments

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its hard to argue that Memphis totally handed Gasol to us on a silver platter

considering that they got Marc Gasol in exchange. They’re about where they were when they DID have Pau, only now with a more promising future.

But all seriousness aside, you may be right :D

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

by Justin N. on Nov 5, 2009 10:08 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

The thing to consider though is that

They traded Gasol for cap space…and then used that cap space to trade for Zach Randolph and pay him the same money they were paying Gasol. lolwut?

The only thing people will be watching Memphis for is whether they’ll set the season record for the lowest number of assists ever recorded by a team.

To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.

by Ben R on Nov 6, 2009 12:21 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Haha

That proves two things:

  1. The Gasol trade actually wasn’t a bad one. The cap space they used to get Randolph could obviously have been used to get someone more conducive to playing good basketball … add in Marc Gasol and the fact that these guys now have youth on their side, and it seems like a pretty good move for a rebuilding team.
  2. Despite that, I still wouldn’t call them smart. Zach Randolph and Allen Iverson … really?

Strength & Honor
It's good to be the Champs

by Josh Tucker on Nov 6, 2009 7:24 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

. . .could obviously have been used to get someone more conducive to playing good basketball. . .

The only problem with that theory is you have to convince them to play in Memphis.

And yes I am a 2009 World Champion Fan.

by olf on Nov 6, 2009 9:01 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

True that

Strength & Honor
It's good to be the Champs

by Josh Tucker on Nov 6, 2009 12:20 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

just you watch

memphis is actually just training baby Gasol so they can give him back to us in another trade :p.

by Nostance on Nov 6, 2009 1:20 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

YOu got the dates wrong for his injuries

First one was in January 2008, second in January 09. :)

by desecrator09 on Nov 5, 2009 7:12 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Hmmm, quite right...

Strength & Honor
It's good to be the Champs

by Josh Tucker on Nov 5, 2009 8:45 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Fixed

Thanks

Strength & Honor
It's good to be the Champs

by Josh Tucker on Nov 5, 2009 8:58 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

or for the rest of his career

unless memphis becomes a contender hehe

When I look at Boris Diaw, I think of Beethoven and the age of the romantics... -The Great Bill Walton

by shaqfor3 on Nov 5, 2009 9:18 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

if bynum needs rehab

he could always head over to the playboy mansion…

When I look at Boris Diaw, I think of Beethoven and the age of the romantics... -The Great Bill Walton

by shaqfor3 on Nov 5, 2009 9:24 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

Bynum looks identical to Tracy Morgan

Lamar = Laker for Life...Go Pads...Go Bolts

by mrbarneydangles on Nov 5, 2009 10:29 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I'M BRIAN FELLOWS!!!!

Well let me welcome everybody to the wild wild west. A state that's untouchable like Elliot Ness.

by pharoah on Nov 6, 2009 5:43 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

If I'm Not Mistaken...

Didn’t the 2008 injury happen at Staples Center? Even the picture above has the team in the home Sunday white uniforms.

by LAron on Nov 5, 2009 10:07 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

a winner is you

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

by Justin N. on Nov 5, 2009 10:09 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

yes

when he got injured in 08 it was at home…

When I look at Boris Diaw, I think of Beethoven and the age of the romantics... -The Great Bill Walton

by shaqfor3 on Nov 5, 2009 10:43 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Drew just need to avoid playing against Memphis

At home, away, any time of the day … JUST. AVOID. MEMPHIS.

Lakers 2009 Road to Redemption: TREVOR, DEREK, LAMAR, PAU & KOBE.
Play the game of which Lakers reminds you of: TA - TI, Shannon Brown - Chris Brown, Pau Gasol - Jesus, Machine - Luis Scola/Russell Brand, PJ with mustache and beard - Colonel Sanders.

by PeanutButterSpread on Nov 5, 2009 11:34 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Not only was the first injury in L.A.

but what was not mentioned was that not a single Grizzly came near him during his two injuries. The 2008 incident occured when Bynum landed on Lamar. He jumped for a rebound and fell on LO’s foot to cause him to collapse to the ground.

The second injury was Kobe driving from the left corner to the baseline and falling directly on Bynum’s knee. I’m all for keeping him out of the lineup. Even if it means sacrificing a loss. The game should be a good game now with our starting frontline not present. I mean, I can’t wait to see baby Gasol go against MMMMMMMMMMMMMBenga.

Well let me welcome everybody to the wild wild west. A state that's untouchable like Elliot Ness.

by pharoah on Nov 6, 2009 5:42 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

God I hope I never see those pictures of Drew writhing in pain ever again

I remember the 2nd injury the most vividly, probably because it was the beginning of this year, but mostly because I remember feeling so bad for Drew and how his scream of agony was most likely a mixture of pain and a “NO WTF NOT AGAIN?!?!?!?!” paired with Kobe sitting there hopelessly … it was not a pretty moment.

Lakers 2009 Road to Redemption: TREVOR, DEREK, LAMAR, PAU & KOBE.
Play the game of which Lakers reminds you of: TA - TI, Shannon Brown - Chris Brown, Pau Gasol - Jesus, Machine - Luis Scola/Russell Brand, PJ with mustache and beard - Colonel Sanders.

by PeanutButterSpread on Nov 5, 2009 11:33 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

bad times

I can still hear the sound of that AHHH! resounding clearly in my head.

by KobesNIG on Nov 6, 2009 1:09 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Honestly

I’m happy both are sitting out tomorrow; we’re concerned about May, not a random game in November.

And in any case, Memphis’ bench is pretty bare past Iverson. The only glaring disparity should be Gasol the younger on Mbenga, but given how much isolations Iverson, Mayo, Gay, and Randolph will be doing every play, he probably won’t get that much of an opportunity to use it. Expect a big game out of Kobe (Mayo’s decent, but obviously has to concentrate on the offensive end), Artest (Gay is awful on the defensive end), and Odom (guarded by Randolph; go figure).

To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.

by Ben R on Nov 6, 2009 12:40 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

All I want from Bynum is...

..that he plays hard on both ends. About 1 or 2 months before every injury Bynum has looked spectacular. But, seeing him score as much as he has and seein what Pau can do I think that not sine T Duncan and Robinson have I seen two big men who have the possibility of being 20 and 10 guys. That to me is huge.

"When I walked into the locker room on my first day as a Laker and saw my gold uniform hanging there, I cried." - Magic Johnson (Best Laker Ever)

by PURPLE AND GOLD FOR LIFE on Nov 6, 2009 7:26 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

Where is the Bench Mob?

What better opportunity than tonight for the Bench Mob to make their long awaited season debut? I mean, do they know that the season has started? What happened to all of the off-season and preseason success that they supposedly had? I know what we get from DJ and Powell, hustle, hard work and effort. But we need much better performances out of Farmar, Brown, Vujacic and Walton. And another thing, tell Adam Morrison to wake up there on the bench… he can at least look like he’s mildly interested.

by dEDGE on Nov 6, 2009 12:23 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

If bynum wants to be an all star

hes going to have to get over his fear of playing the Grizz i think its gotten 2 out of hand. you dont see kobe not wanting to play the timberwolfs (where he injured his finger that he still hasnt gotten surgury on…)

im starting to get really sick of how we are using are players. DJ mbenga shouldnt be playing even if Pau,odom,and powell where out thats how bad he is. we need to get rid of sasha as well and morrison.

i am really happy the way we have been playing though but we cant be holding out gasol and bynum in a big game that could cost us down the line (lol yes i said this was a big game) every game counts

Go Lakers!

YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE BOARD YES!
www.reverbnation.com/czheckproductions

by Czheck on Nov 6, 2009 1:45 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

It's really not

Lakers should be shoe-ins for the best record in the West. Denver is probably the only likely challenger, but it remains to be seen if they can keep up this pace all season. And even if they can, the Lakers know they can beat them. But Boston can have the regular season; the Lakers play for the spring, because they know that’s all that really matters.

What matters more than winning games, right now, is learning to play well as a team, so they can win games in May and June. As long as they come together and learn and are ready come spring, I don’t give a crap what their record is.

Strength & Honor
It's good to be the Champs

by Josh Tucker on Nov 6, 2009 2:03 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

and to add to that

aside from the best record
is to have the healthiest team

by Nostance on Nov 6, 2009 3:03 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Quite true

Play Bynum and Pau when you shouldn’t, and you risk their health. November isn’t when we need them healthy. The spring is.

Strength & Honor
It's good to be the Champs

by Josh Tucker on Nov 6, 2009 3:27 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

if bynum stays mostly healthy and keeps performing

he could be an all start this year since yao is injured and shaq is in the east

When I look at Boris Diaw, I think of Beethoven and the age of the romantics... -The Great Bill Walton

by shaqfor3 on Nov 6, 2009 2:50 PM PST reply actions   0 recs


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