Giving Thanks
by Justin N. on Nov 25, 2009 4:45 PM PST
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Might be a little longwinded, but I'm sure many families will love it! ***Please read knowing that this fanpost is not designed to promote any religious undertones. It is meant as a fun read in a joking, SNL kind of way***
On this beautiful Thursday night, I am thankful for many things. But first and foremost, I am thankful for the Los Angeles Lakers. I am thankful that, although the exact numbers of Kobe Bryant's contract remain uncertain, the team which will ultimately own it is set in stone. I am thankful that, despite his numbers and performances, Pau Gasol is still one of the most underrated players in the country. I am thankful that Ron Artest has reached out to people in loving ways he never has before, but still makes no friends on the court. I am thankful that Phil Jackson's hips don't lie, and now sing the melody of championships to come.
So may God bless Lamar Odom with many a triple double coming off the bench. May he grant Andrew Bynum knees of solid steel and Sasha Vujacic confidence of the same composition. May he sprinkle Derek Fisher with rejuvinated youth and Jordan Farmar with hardened, veteran instinct. May he bless Shannon Brown with a shooting touch to complement his amazing leaping ability, and Adam Morrison with a pair of calf muslces worthy of his stroke. May he grant Luke Walton a speedy recovery. May he gift to DJ Mbenga and Josh Powell many mintues of meaningless playtime. Finally, may he shower upon the Lakers their 16th NBA championship.
Because we all know that, deep down, God is a Laker fan.
:)
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So one day Larry Bird dies and goes to heaven. He meets God at the pearly gates and God tells him that he is going to take him to his new home. As they walk along Larry realizes the houses are not all the same. God tells him that the houses vary based on your earthly greatness and contributions to society, etc. Soon they get to a beautiful 5000 square foot house covered with shamrocks and various Celtics memorabilia. Larry is quite impressed and thanks God, but then notices a house at the end of the block. It is huge, a mansion. At least 50,000 square feet, purple and gold and covered with Laker memorabilia from top to bottom.
Larry laughs and says let me guess, that must belong to either Kobe, Jerry West, or Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, am I right? God chuckles and says no Larry……………that’s MY house.
Yes God is a Laker fan.
Billy Mac: "Lamar, can you see yourself actually getting in the (boxing) ring"?
Lamar Odom: "No. My face is too pretty."
should give kudos to this joke
because that is where I got that phrase from :D
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
I actually don't remember the original joke as I first heard it......
so it’s probably different than you heard it. I ad-libbed most of it. Still works though.
Billy Mac: "Lamar, can you see yourself actually getting in the (boxing) ring"?
Lamar Odom: "No. My face is too pretty."
awesome
that was too funny!
I think smashing the Suns made me realize how far Kobe and the Lakers have come from five years ago, when the Suns had the world at their feet.
by PURPLE AND GOLD FOR LIFE on Nov 26, 2009 4:24 PM PST up reply actions
also not to open a can of worms, but just a question i never thought to ask,
Why is god a he, why can’t god be a she?
In Kobe we trust!
we live in a male-centric world
some people wouldnt respect a god so much if it was a she?? idk
like you said we are opening a can of worms here…so i will just end it here…
Leave Chad Billingsley alone!!!
"He" is shorter and easier to type/write.
Other than that I have no idea. My god is a can of Dinty Moore stew…….which if you think about it is just as likely as he or she.
Billy Mac: "Lamar, can you see yourself actually getting in the (boxing) ring"?
Lamar Odom: "No. My face is too pretty."
pretty sure its in the bible...
…which is why “god” is commonly referred to as a masculine term.
For the record, if I were to classify myself I would call myself agnostic. This was just a funny idea to me. I’m going to say it at my family’s thanksgiving’s dinner (again, not religous…most popular object of appreciation is the playstation).
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
by the way, reading this now hours after I wrote it...
…I realize I kind of come off as some zealous religious Laker fan. Honestly people , it’s just meant to be a joke!
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
OK
I will call off the pitchfork mob.
Billy Mac: "Lamar, can you see yourself actually getting in the (boxing) ring"?
Lamar Odom: "No. My face is too pretty."
Just to clarify
God varies from religion to religion. Some teach it as he, there are those say she, those that say god is more It as god has no true human form and is only a spirit. There are those that say he’s black, or mexican, or even alien. So from a non-religious but more-so educated standpoint, all stories start with Adam first, so therefore most think that since God made him to his likeness he must be a man. Also, not so much we live in a male-centric society as we live in a transformation period between religious, restricted, and false-science to a period of less-restricted, godless, scientific period. religion views men as the heads, but science proves both men and women equal. IMO at least, organized religion pretty much ruined everything as well as the pseudo-science of the past that painted women and those of other colors lesser.
Seriously Amen to that!
beautiful to be a Laker fan any day of the year.
I think smashing the Suns made me realize how far Kobe and the Lakers have come from five years ago, when the Suns had the world at their feet.
by PURPLE AND GOLD FOR LIFE on Nov 26, 2009 4:26 PM PST up reply actions
so many fancy deserts out there
I just want my gf’s home made cheese cake. It’s amazing.
I think smashing the Suns made me realize how far Kobe and the Lakers have come from five years ago, when the Suns had the world at their feet.
by PURPLE AND GOLD FOR LIFE on Nov 26, 2009 6:11 PM PST up reply actions
funny
but a good idea
I think smashing the Suns made me realize how far Kobe and the Lakers have come from five years ago, when the Suns had the world at their feet.
by PURPLE AND GOLD FOR LIFE on Nov 30, 2009 5:20 PM PST up reply actions
LOL "god is a laker fan" Justin N
Nice post and Happy belated thanks giving all
There are basic Fundamentals that are needed to move forward in this game. Always keep your guard up at all times to avoid being caught in a trap. Overcome the fouls that will be commited against you REBOUND AND PRESS ON. ADJUST to the LimeLight: ALL-STAR PLAYERS ARE ALWAYS THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. Know what your role is and play your position. Find a game plan and execute it. REMEMBER YOU ONLY GET OUT OF THE GAME WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT.
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